Indigeo Abstentia
by Oparu
Summary: Gregory and Olivia are trapped in the elevator and reignite something they lost. Completed June 23rd.
1. Default Chapter

As moment the door seals us into the elevator I know we're in trouble. Gregory and I can barely be civil in a room where we could put a decent distance between us. In the elevator there's nowhere to run. I fold my arms, trying to ignore him as I watch the lights move along the bar above the door. AJ had to get a room on the top floor and of course Gregory would never settle for anything less then the best, so he's headed up to the top as well.

How long is this elevator going to take? It's already been years, and I can feel his eyes on me before he pretends to be looking away. What could Gregory be looking at that he hasn't seen before?

Watching the lights drag uncomfortably from two to three, I hear the rustling of silk as he loosens his tie. Why is he warm? It isn't warm in here, the air conditioning actually has it a little cooler then I'd like. For on insane moment I wonder if he's having a heart attack, if everything he's held inside is finally going to force its way out.

Gregory's eyes are on me again. Even without glancing secretively over to him, I can feel his gaze run up my leg. It's as hot as he looks.

"What are you looking at?" I ask him softly. I mean the words to sting, to hide my nervousness, but I can't bring the bite to my lips. Of course I hate the way he's nibbling at me with his eyes, don't I?

Looking away, Gregory just shrugs and feigns interest in the wall and the metal seam of the elevator door that's locked us in together. I never thought we'd be together again.

Tapping my fingers against my arm can't make the elevator go any faster. In fact the light seems to have stopped between four and five. That's just my imagination, isn't it?

The sickening thud of the elevator as it halts with a jolt is real. I nearly drop my purse in surprise, and even Gregory's knocked out of his daydream. He reaches for my shoulder, the soft light in his brown eyes reminds me of when he was my husband and there was care in his eyes when he looked at me. If only for a moment.

"Are you all right?" He asks chivalrously, but I step away from his hand.

Refusing to let him touch me as I remind him of the boundary between us. "I'm fine. What do you think just happened?"

"I don't know." He picks up the emergency phone and waits impatiently for the operator. "Damn thing isn't working. It'll probably start back up again soon."

Please God let it start up again. "It probably will." I echo his supposition without hearing my own words.

We continue to avoid each other's eyes. What is it there that frightens us?

* * *

The black straps of her heels caress her ankles in a way I'd give my own feet to do. As she shifts away from me, the slit in her long black skirt gives me a view of her legs that makes my mouth go dry. The curve of her calf muscle has the kind of fullness I want to sink my teeth into, like ripe melon. Her knee is the harbinger of the smooth skin of her upper thigh, the kind of silk my fingers can only dream about. For one blissful second, my eyes catch the lace edge at the top of her stockings.

The lace haunts me, teasing me with visions of sliding the stockings down, over her knee and off her perfect ankles. I undo the top button of my shirt, sweltering in my suit jacket. The air conditioner must be broken, but her hair is elegantly up on the back of her head and there isn't a trace of sweat on her neck. I close my eyes, picturing her black skirt on the floor at her feet as she steps out of it. Perfect in her nudity. When did I forget she was a goddess?

I don't even notice the way my hands are reaching for her. The way I've moved to be closer to her. The scent of her perfume fills the elevator, reminding me of lying in bed with her. Lying over her, that scent in my nose, her sweat on my lips.

My hand's on her shoulder. From the way she looks at it, I can tell she's as surprised by it as I am, but she doesn't move away. Those blue eyes glisten beneath her eyelashes as she turns her glance from my profaning touch to my face.

Meeting her eyes sends an jolt of heat through my body that makes my jacket feel like an oven. There's a desert in my heart and she's the only rain. The only moisture. I'm not even thinking, unaware of my own actions as I back her to the wall.

"Let's go back to Florence Liv, here, now. Come with me..." The space between our bodies is eternity. One of her breasts brushes against my chest and all of my senses coalesce into that touch. That precious contact. Her sigh, the breath escaping her lips is everything I want. It's life in that sigh of wanting. In the wetness of her tongue as it darts out from her lips.

* * *

Gregory shouldn't be able to do this to me. There's too much unsaid between us. We should be incapable of intimacy, of this kind of maddening closeness. His arms trap me against the wall, but I can see escape in his hungry eyes. There's a way out of everything wrong in my life. Can I take that? Do I dare feel anything again?

The horrible ringing is my cellular phone. "I have to get it." I explain weakly as I duck out and away.

Olivia, you can't do this. You can't let him in again. You can't hurt like that.

I flip it open, half-kneeling on the floor of the elevator. The voice on the other end is more shrill than the ringing.

"Stay away from my husband. You bitch!" Annie screams into my ear. I don't have time to think about how she knew I was here. How she knew Gregory wanted me? I start to stammer a reply, but he pulls me to my feet.

Snatching the phone from my hand, Gregory smashes it against the wall of the elevator. His sudden violence surprises me and I jump back from him as the plastic falls to the bottom of the elevator. Clattering against the walls and the carpet.

"I'll replace it." He doesn't ask who it was. It's obvious that he doesn't care. He takes a step forward. Closing the distance between us so I can feel his belt buckle against my stomach. I could throw my arms around his neck, bruise his lips with the ferocity of my wanting but I don't.

I listen to the roaring of blood in my ears, somehow his voice cuts through the cacophony. "If you say no-"

Gregory's hand finds my side, a firebrand through my black beaded dress. "I'll stop. If you can look at me and tell me you don't want me."

My foot slips of its own according, lodging between his feet. Bringing me that much closer. Near enough to feel his body press against mine. Insistent, but controlled. He's always controlled.

"I never stopped wanting you." The words are out before I can censor them. My traitorous foot caresses the inside of his ankle and it's his turn to sigh. Gregory hasn't stripped me with his eyes in years, but the look on his face is as familiar as the sensation of his hands against my skin.

Phantom fingers trace up my spine as his eyes feast on my neck. I'm completely naked to his stare. "What made you think we ever stopped? That we ever could."

Gregory's not touching me yet. In a moment I'll be begging him to. I can already feel the tension in my stomach. The rising heat he brings with each passing moment. "We left. We walked away." It's a pathetic reply and he burns it away as his knee teases my inner thigh.

His hand follows suit, rustling the fabric of my skirt as he squeezes the flesh of my thigh. "But we didn't stop wanting. That fire Liv-"

I swallow my gasp of pleasure. "Fire destroys." Another moment of contact brings another moan from the back of my throat. "We destroyed each other."

Gregory's hands dig into my hips, shoving my back against the wall. "What do we have left to lose?"

Wanting him hurts, a physical pain that begs to be soothed, but still I attempt vainly to resist. "Everything."

* * *

Turning my attention to her back, I can feel the delicate zipper of her dress. My fingers dance over it, taunting myself with how easy it would be to have her the way I see her in my mind. "What do you have now that compares to us? Tell me you're happy with him. Tell me he's all you want." I let my lips the skin of her neck just beneath her ear. My tongue darts out to find the softness of her neck. "Tell me he makes you feel the way I did."

Her breath shudders in her chest. There's an agony between where we are and fulfillment. A lifetime's pain, condensed into the gulf keeping us apart. "He doesn't make me cry." Olivia explains simply, her words whispering past the need. "He doesn't make me want to drink. He doesn't make me wish I'd never been in love-"

I kiss her neck, moving lazily to her face as her hand finds the back of my neck. "If he doesn't inspire emotion. What do you feel?"

Olivia forces herself into my arms, pulling us both off balance, so we tumble back to the wall. She wraps a leg around my legs, pinning myself to her. "No more." She hisses into my mouth, filling the space after her words with a searching tongue. We explore old ground, lips locking together like a puzzle finally placing its missing piece.


	2. speechless

It takes an eternity to find the zipper on the back of her dress again. Giving up on that I reach into the slit of her dress, searching for the lace stockings that were taunting me a moment ago. Olivia moans as my hand fumbles into sensitive territory before finding the edge of her stocking. The lace is soft and gives way to my searching hand. Her leg is softer still, and the flesh of her thigh is supple and gives way.

As my fingers tighten her moan grows more urgent. Her little fingers reach up the back of my neck, pulling my head closer so she can sink her teeth into my lips. I force her back against the wall of the elevator, finally finding the tiny metal tip of the zipper. The zipper gives way, humming its way down the s-curve of her back. Beneath it is just the perfect skin, her muscles hugging her bones, and the satin strap of her bra.

I pull her dress down over her arms, freeing her left shoulder. Fighting away from her kisses, I attack the skin I find there, heading my way down her arm as I pull it from from her sleeve. Olivia lets me explore her hand with my lips before I return the way I came. This time her left breast is exposed, and I can feel the swell of it over the black satin of her bra. The sensitive nerves in my tongue tell of the racing of her heart beneath her chest. I can feel the shuddering of her breath as well as listening to the way it quickens in her throat.

Her knees grow weak and she clings to me, pressing against me with the ferocity I've been missing. Annie doesn't want me this way. She doesn't need the way Olivia does, and she most certainly doesn't have the little sigh of wanting that escapes from Olivia's glistening lips. Annie's a silent predator. She likes it quick and hard because she's young. Olivia knows differently.

She pulls out of the other arm of her dress, letting it fall away to her waist as she pulls my head up from her chest. Olivia's eyes are open, huge in her face, desperate as she looks into my soul. We start on the buttons of my shirt together. Alternating our hurried hands as we flutter our way down. Her hands slide inside as it opens, pulling our skin together as the hair of my chest meets the smoothness of her. My grunt of pleasure might have been her name, but the word is lost as her tongue invades my mouth. Even while we're kissing, we're still fighting.

She yanks my shirt out of my pants. I tear her dress down her waists, pulling it tight over the curve of her hips. The catch of my fly is her next victim. She doesn't want to wait for her dress to be off. She's begging me with her tongue under the bone of my chin. Olivia's teeth brush my neck, and as my hands slip beneath the skirt of her dress to prepare the way she bites down on my shoulder.

"Oh god-" She moans, breaking off the word to pant in anticipation. "Oh god-" Forgetting the stockings, I run my hands up her inner thighs, hunting all the way up to her hips. I can taste her lipstick and a hint of her blood as we devour each other's lips again. I could live on the feast of her. I trail down her neck, pretending to ignore her begging. There's sweat and moisture between her legs, and the trembling of impatience.

It's more fun catch her off guard, and I use one hand to find and torture the nipple of one breast. Her moaning gains a shrill note, and I can hear the edge that will turn into a scream when I've got her where I want her. My other hand tears down her panties, leaving them just above her trembling knees. I take one last chance to tease her, opening her with one dry, insistent finger. As I bury myself inside her, I finally get the scream she's been building towards.

Bracing my feet, I shove her against the wall, using that to help support her weight as I lick the taste of her off my finger. Olivia wraps her arms around my shoulders. Hands digging into my back, nails scratching into my skin. I relish the sensation. Pain is the counterpoint to pleasure and the expression of our desperation. I lean in, pressing up inside of her for everything I have before pulling away. She's on her tiptoes in her heels, grinding against me as I create a space between us.

But I can't stay there, my control's starting to slip away into the warmth of her. I start to speed up, and for one insane moment I picture the elevator opening behind us. AJ and Annie staring at us open mouthed as we find what we've been missing since the divorce. What haunts our dreams at night when we lie beside our replacements.

I have to move faster, she's starting to tighten around me, and it would be a shame to let her come alone. Olivia's eyes are half-closed and the sweetness of perfume is fading to the reality of sweat with its own sweetness. "Harder." She demands as she digs her hands into my shoulders. "Gregory- harder..."

I slip one hand down and up under her skirt, holding my thumb against her, teasing her as her body shifts. Her moaning deepens, coming from her chest now, and I'm moaning with her. I'm lost with her. The world condenses to her and and the wetness inside of her. Her hands start to spasm, and the shudder works its way up to her shoulders. She tightens around me and I move faster, pressing my thumb against her harder, each motion exploding the intensity as her eyes snap open. Those dammed blue eyes reach in to clench around my heart as she involuntarily clenches down around me.

Her scream doesn't even come from her throat. It's from somewhere inside those eyes. Her pupils expand to fill my vision, black taking over as I let go, releasing hot and wet inside of her as I echo with a scream of my own. Our heart's race, mutually struggling to come back from oblivion. I can't tell her the feeling that settles over me. The way I feel whole as her head rests against my neck. A solitary drop of sweat runs down her chest and mixes with my own.

My open palm rests against the cold wall of the elevator. The skin of her back is too heated to even feel the chill anymore. The air conditioner's been defeated by the heat between us. We slump together, panting against the wall. We don't have anything to say, but our eyes speak volumes. Hers tell of satisfaction and victory. Olivia knows what she does to me. How I could make love to her for eternity and never be bored. Never be done. I wonder what mine give up to her.

I let myself wonder as I nuzzle her neck. The sweat curls the tiny hairs at her hairline, and the perfect knot is falling in dark curls down her neck. The goddess glows under my touch. Radiating her light through me.

But neither of us speaks. Her lips are gentle now, the kiss on my cheek says she loved me once. Her hand on her neck adds that she could still. I kiss in the inner corner of her eye, then her nose. Replying that she's still my heart. Always.


	3. blind

As I fold Gregory's jacket under my arm, AJ looks at it with the same disgusted expression. It's amazing how one man can have some much dislike for another. I move so he's on the opposite side as Gregory's jacket. Putting as much distance between them as possible seems foolish because it's just a suit coat, but maybe it's the symbolism. Gregory can still keep me warm and AJ hates being reminded of it.

Not that it was cold in the elevator. In fact, chill had nothing to do with Gregory's gesture. Our main concern was the way the zipper on my dress refused to close after our encounter. I brush my hand nervously across my cheek and hope AJ doesn't catch my blush. It's never been like that with AJ, but that's not his fault. It's never been like that with anyone but Gregory.

My high heels click against the sidewalk as AJ leads me into Grenadine's. I don't know how any of us thought this family dinner would be a good idea. Here I am with the father of my daughter's husband, who also happens to be my ex-husband's worst enemy. And we're meeting the same daughter who's raising my son, her brother, as her own child because I can't bring to take him away from her.

And I can't help thinking that none of this would be happening if it wasn't for the wh#re who's married my husband. My ex-husband, I correct myself, as AJ opens the door for me. If Annie hadn't taken him we might actually be a family at this dammed dinner instead of just a collection of weary souls.

Gregory doesn't look weary. In fact he's the only one to really smile at me as we approach the table. Caitlin's fretting with her cellular phone, calling Bette to check on Trey again. Cole puts his hands on her shoulders and whispers something to calm her down. Caitlin and Cole are on the side of the circular table closest to the door into the private room. Annie's on Caitlin's left, and Gregory's by her side.

I can't stand the thought of sitting next to Cole so I let AJ take the chair next to his son. That leaves me between them. Caught between my first love and my true love. I pass Gregory's dark charcoal jacket to him with a tiny smile. "Thank you for lending me this."

He raises an austere eyebrow, as it he's surprised I remembered at all. "I couldn't let you be cold now could I?"

I giggle nervously, and try to make it seem like it's covering my contempt for him. He knows better, it's obvious by the glint in his eye, but AJ buys it.

"Was the air conditioning really that bad?" He asks thoughtfully as he takes up the wine list.

"Awful." I reply as I reach for my water glass. Gregory's reaching for the menu at the same time and our hands brush. My sip of water does nothing to fight the flames licking up my arm from the point where our hands touched. My hand rests on the table at the base of my glass and his elbow is only a breath away. If I stretched my fingers I could touch him. Licking my lips involuntarily, I wonder what he'd do if I did.

Gregory sets his menu down and folds his hands over it patiently. "It was up way to high, I've even been meaning to talk to hotel management about it-"

He's such a convincing liar. The elevator was the hottest place we've both been since our trip to Rio with Alex Mitchum so many years ago.

"I know it's hard to believe in August in California, but poor Olivia was nearly shivering with the cold." He continues as he toys with the edge of his green cloth napkin. The fidgeting puts his fingers even closer to my own. I can barely follow the conversation as the memory of his hands sends a shiver down my spine.

"She's lucky you were there to keep her warm." Cole intones dryly. It's nearly an innuendo as it rolls off his tongue. I toss a glance his way and wonder what he's getting at.

Gregory thinks it's just a cut at him and clears his throat indignantly. "At least I remember to treat her like a lady."

I inhale so quickly that I start to choke on my water. As I struggle to regain my breath, two hands close down on my shoulders. AJ's on my right shoulder, his hand is soft, comforting. Gregory's on my left and the tip of his finger breaks the line of my collar, brushing the skin of my neck. The electricity of his touch sends a shock down my chest that quells the coughing fit. "I'm sorry."

"Just forgot you couldn't breathe water mom?" Caitlin shuts her menu and hands it to the waiter with a smile. "You really need to work on that."

AJ takes my menu and hands it off before I realize I didn't get a chance to order. "Yes darling."

I shoot him a curious look and AJ grins gently. "I ordered for you, don't worry about it."

I can hear the gruff noise in Gregory's throat, he's obviously not too fond of the idea of AJ choosing my dinner for me. Annie drags him into conversation about Liberty and I can feel the start of a headache burrowing into my skull. Dinner with Cole is bad enough. Adding Annie is like making it an endurance race.

I hold back a sigh and pray AJ choose something I'll like. "What did you get for me darling?"

"The prime-cut filet mignon wrapped in bacon." He lifts his bottle of merlot and fills his glass. "It's one of the specialties here."

I bit my lip just thinking about the mass of meat they'll be putting in front of me. It's going to be a marathon after all. "Sounds lovely."

My lack of enthusiasm goes unnoticed as AJ falls into conversation with Cole and Caitlin about Trey's recovery after the earthquake. I start to listen in, but I nearly jump to my feet when I feel the hand on my knee. My left knee, the one on Gregory's side, but surely it isn't him. He's talking to Annie seriously about rebuilding the resort that collapsed in the quake. He's certainly not toying with the slit of my skirt.

I lift my napkin and 'accidently' drop it to the floor between Gregory and I. Leaning down slowly I peer beneath the table and immediately recognize the silver Rolex around the wrist just above my knee. I can feel my cheeks start to flush as I sit up. Only Cole seems to have noticed my momentary disappearance, and I hold up my napkin sheepishly in explanation. "Don't know where my mind is tonight."

Gregory's hand is still on my knee when the waiter sets my dinner in front of me. He feels my shudder as I look down at my food. I'm sure it's wonderful and to die for if you like that sort of thing. AJ dives into his with gusto, but I only manage to lift my fork towards my potatoes. I resign myself to at least pretending to eat most of my steak as Gregory suddenly drops his fork in surprise.

"What's wrong?" Annie buts in immediately. "Burn yourself?"

Gregory wipes his mouth with his napkin and shakes his head. "This salmon is covered with tarragon."

Four faces look at him in confusion. Caitlin takes a sip of her white wine and tilts her head in curiousity. "I don't get it. What's wrong with tarragon?"

"Most people find it a rich and pleasing taste." AJ jumps in as he smacks down on another bite of steak. "In fact, in my home country, it is referred to as the king of herbs."

"There's nothing wrong with it." I explain with a soft smile. "Gregory used to enjoy it a great deal."

"Until?" Annie presses as she reaches for the Bordeaux she's sharing with Gregory.

"Until it started to make me break out in hives." Gregory finished with a disgruntled shrug. "I guess I'll have to flag down the waiter-"

He starts to get up, and I grab the wrist that was so recently just on my knee. "You'll never get anything new before we're all done eating. They're so busy on Fridays." I ease him back in his seat. "Why don't you just trade with me? You've always liked their filet mignon, and I can personally assure you it doesn't have any tarragon on it."

Gregory stares into my eyes and I see the start of a smile in the corners of his. "Oh you don't have to do that. I'm sure I can find the waiter."

I lift up my plate and pass it towards him with a relieved smile. "It's no trouble at all. Can't really let Annie see you that way. She might be scared off by your plague."

The plates are swapped and I know there's no tarragon from the first bite of salmon. Gregory's hand drops back to my knee and the squeeze of my upper thigh is his way of sharing his favor with me. He knows I hate filet mignon nearly as much as I hate the slut on his left.

* * *

The plates languish empty in front of us and the wine passes around the table, neatly avoiding me as Gregory begins his serious exploration of my inner thighs. I take a long drink of the ice cold water in my glass and part my knees, hitching up my skirt and leaving him a larger area to play in. He rewards me with half a smile as he outlines the latest proposal the insurance company has made towards rebuilding the house. I can feel the metal band of his watch slip beneath the edge of my skirt as he lets his fingers creep their way up. 

I take my napkin and lower it to my lap under the pretense of making room for the waiter to remove my plate. Crushing it in my hand, I bite down on my lip as he frees his hand from his watch. The Rolex lies between my legs on my chair. I slip my right hand beneath the table cloth and retrieve it as a trophy. I slip it into my purse and return my right hand to the stem of my water glass. My left leaves my napkin in my lap and wanders beneath the long white cloth. Thank heaven for the romantic drape of it over the end of the table towards the floor.

My fingers wander all the way over to his lap and the sudden rise of his eyebrow is all the incentive I need. I slip my fingers into his pocket and he retorts by finding the fastening of my garter belt to my silk hose. He undoes it nimbly as he continues to calmly go over insurance law. "Of course the sudden jump in claims will make premiums go up all over the south west-" Gregory explains for Cole and Caitlin's benefit. Annie's no longer listening as she digs into her cheesecake.

My desert crawls up the line of my garter. Gregory's always loved them, in fact, I smirk to myself as I realize these are one of his favorites. A deep, rich red that can only be worn underneath dark skirts. Something he picked up at a little shop in Paris. Thinking of France makes me think about AJ and his lazy hand on my arm. I shake it free to take another sip of ice water.

Cole thoughtfully reaches over to refill my glass as Gregory dances across to the other thigh. As the waiter drops off his coffee, Gregory moves our chairs together, so close that we're brushing elbows. No one notices that he doesn't scoot his chair back. His pant's pocket is empty, so I travel up to his belt, trying to recognize it just by the feel of the leather. I open my legs again, using the motion to pull my dress up farther, furthering the gap in my dress he's having so much fun exploiting.

The conversation moves on to Cole and Caitlin's wild adventures on the Neptune II. I'm still not expected to participate and I can bite my lip in concealed pleasure as strong fingers detach my garter on the other side.

I start to pull his belt free in retaliation. Inching it out of his belt loops a tiny bit at a time. The small spasm of his hand is the only sign that he can give me to continue. Between us the signals fly like fireworks, exploding into our perceptions of each other. Around us it's fog and scattered voices. Gregory traces a circle on the bare skin of my leg. Another circle follows and he's tracking a dangerous path up to his destination. I concentrate on my breathing, keeping it slow and regular as my heart races away from me.

I fumble with the catch of his belt, forgetting how difficult it is to take one of the damn things off with my left hand. Gregory's not making it any easier for me. He's found the edge of my panties and he takes no small pleasure in proving to me just how sadistic he can be. The tip of his little finger traces the line of the hem along one side, feather-light against me, but definite there.

His belt finally gives in and I slip it free from the buckle, spending a moment on the button beneath has his pants undone. He takes a long sip of his coffee, and I smirk to myself. He's feeling the heat of the room as much as I am. As I take my time on the zipper of his trousers, I'm relieved to find Annie hasn't managed to change his habits any. The silk boxers have the same feel I remember to them as I slip my hand inside.

Brushing against the transparent silk of my panties, his bent knuckle nearly draws a moan out of my throat. I quickly bit it back, and am careful not to reach for my water too quickly. I can't seem desperate. Not that AJ's watching me. He's too busy talking to Cole. No, my careful act of control is for Gregory's benefit alone. I want him to know I can keep my composure. No matter how delicately he invades me with searching fingers. They run damp over the outer edge of my thigh and he begins to remove my panties, one damming inch at a time.

I keep my hand outsider the silk of his boxers. They slide over my fingers as I close down on his hardening erection. I copy his technique, fingers whispering across him even though we're both desperate to increase the pressure. Neither of us wants to be the first to commit ourselves.

He slips his hand across the ease the other side of my panties free from my hips. I switch my weight to my feet just long enough for him to retrieve them down to my knees. They'll be his souvenir later as they slide down to my ankles. He's entirely unencumbered now, and he pauses only a moment. For me the moment stretches into eternity as I contemplate squeezing my revenge out of him. Sensing my growing desperation, Gregory finally, finally caresses my aching wetness with the wonder of his fingers.

Starting low, he works his way up. Teasing me as I increase the speed of my hand. I debate the wisdom of making him come first, giving me the glory of all of his attention. Gregory has other plans. He catches that sensitive part and rolls it between two merciless fingers. My hand clamps down around him out of desperation instead of concern for his pleasure. Judging by the flush in his cheek, and the edge to his breathing I can hear in the minimal distance between us, he's every bit as insane with sensation as I am.

Two of his fingers make their way inside, mimicking his motions from yesterday, his bent knuckle continues to massage me up and down as he thrusts his fingers up and in. I step out of my panties with my heels. Either we're going to make a very embarrassing scene for our daughter, or there's going to be a mad retreat from the room. I stop and withdraw my hand from him as I realize how close to the edge he is. Gregory follows suit, leaving me with a gaping emptiness that is physically painful. He catches my eye and flicks his gaze upward. The key to my hotel room is in my purse. I kick my panties over to his shoe, making sure he knows I've left something there with a brush of my foot against his ankle as I retrieve the from the bottom of my purse.

Gregory moves quickly, surprising us both as he jumps back into the conversation with a wild gesture of enthusiasm. That collides with the $200 bottle of bordeaux, sending it on a course directly into my lap. As I jump up in surprise, he dives beneath the table, secretly retrieve my panties and shoving them in his pocket as he hastily arranges his pants. Undoing that belt again is going to be one of the fastest things he's ever seen.

Everyone is immediately trying to help dry me off, but it's a lost cause. I'm drenched with wine. Annie mutters something that I would have jumped all over any other day. Tonight, my trembling body insists I have better things to do.

"Let me walk you to your room." Gregory offers sheepishly. "I'm so sorry Olivia. I should really watch where I put my hands."

I can barely retrain myself. I want to jump into his arms and bite the smirk off of his face, bruising those teasing lips with passion. Instead, I hold up my wine-soaked hands in defeat. "It's really not like you to misplace your hands."

He shrugs and puts an arm around my shoulder, stealing me away from AJ as he starts to get up. Having AJ walk me to my room would be the worst kind torture. All of the promise we've built up beneath that table cloth would be lost to his passionless touch.

As soon as we're in the elevator, our elevator, all pretense is gone. Gregory gives me a glimpse of the deep red silk of my former panties as he tucks them deeper into his pocket. I push him back into the buttons as I devour his lips. His silver tongue may be amazing in court, but it's even better against my own, searching the inside of my mouth. I groan in frustration as I realize my enthusiasm has pushed every button in the damn elevator. We stop at floor after floor, each time he slams his elbow back into the close door button with a wicked grin.

I decide not to waste any time and use both hands to undo his belt. The naked desire in his eyes increases to a blaze as my hands brush against his fierce desire for me. Finally the chime of the door is the correct floor. Ignoring anyone else who may be foolishly traversing the corridor we run to my room. He shoves me against the door, reminding me that there are sensitive parts of my body above my waist as one of his hands dives boldly down the neckline of my shirt. The door flies open and we tumble inside. I slam the door and tear of his jacket as he reaches for the buttons down the front of my shirt. They're tiny and too delicate for our current state.

We rip them together. Carried away by our own desperation, his shirt goes the way of mine. Housekeeping is going to have a fit with the buttons in the carpet. His chest is bare and he undoes the clasp of my bra with the speed of a practiced hand. My skirt doesn't take the time to come off. Instead of comes up to my hips as we tumble down to the bed. He leans over me, finishing my lips off as the final course of our meal, as he steps out of his pants.

I reach to pull him down to the bed on top of me, if he doesn't remove the longing from me it'll certainly crawl up to my heart and make it stop beating.

Gregory stops, paused over me a only a second from climax. His gaze burns into my soul, marking me forever. "I've never wanted you more."

There's no arrogance in his tone. None of his cultivated confidence. it's the truth, and nothing he's said has ever been sexier. Nothing has made my whole body scream for him like this before. We're so close that we cry out together as we touch. I pull him in, drawing him deeper into me as we push against the bed. My arms are around his naked shoulders, my breasts flattened against the friction of his chest. "Oh god-"

But god's not the one I want. God's not the one electrifying every muscle of my legs. He's not the answer to my prayers. Gregory is and he's in me and I'm around him. We share our breath as we forget to part lips. He's moaning and I'm screaming into his neck. I collapse around him as he explodes to fill the space within me. It's the kind of climax that explodes inside my head, So intense I think I've been blinded as I sob for breath.

It's only as we lie there, shaking and wondering how we're ever going to part our souls enough to sleep in separate beds tonight, that I realize the darkness is because we never bothered to turn on the lights. We didn't need light. As soon as I have enough breath I'll giggle and ask him if he realized how easily we make love in the dark. How all we need is each other to find our way.


	4. mistaken

Annie languishes across the bed, hands toying with the fluffy hem of her pale pink babydoll. She has a thing for fluff that I'll never understand. "When are you going to stop talking about Olivia? It's been Olivia this and Olivia that all day-" Her pout accentuates her lips, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing. I also wonder about the pink. Petal pink is not her color, pastels always remind me of my wife.

My first wife. I undo my collar and duck into the bathroom. "I'll be out in a moment." I strip off my clothes and pull on my robe. Sleeping with Annie will placate her, shut her up and serve the dual purpose of quieting my lust. At least, that is my hope as I sit down on the bed next to her. Her lips taste like Cristal as I crush her to me. Annie loves the expensive things of life, even when she doesn't understand them.

* * *

AJ runs the rose over the line of my chin, smiling at me patiently. I close my eyes, biting back my sigh of resignation. Gregory would have me begging by now, but he's not here. It's not his hands on my back. I remember when kissing AJ was exciting as he gently insinuates his tongue into my mouth. He's soft, warm and clean-smelling. I keep my eyes closed because I don't want to see him. It's terrible of me.

I'm with AJ now and I should be with AJ in my mind. But I keep running back to Gregory. Gregory's hands on my thigh. His desperation as he shoved me into the wall of the elevator was exciting. The heat of his breath on my cheek made me want him. Tonight it's all I can do just to sigh and let AJ undo the buttons of my blouse as I lie there.

* * *

I ignore her attempts to please me. I don't need Annie to stroke my chest and whisper that I'm her man. There's no intimacy between us, and she should know that. I kiss her again to keep her from talking. Grabbing her breasts draws a groan from her throat, wrapping my hands around her rib cage, I shove her down onto the bed. The new bed doesn't creak like the old one. My thrust into her waiting body is quiet. Annie growls in response, pulling me deeper.

She likes it rough so I bend back her legs and drive her into the bed. Annie moans, but it doesn't melt my knees the same way Olivia could. Annie reminds me of my personal trainer, the lithe little thing who amused me for awhile. I've never married a mistress before. Maybe the legitimacy is why I'm bored. I close my eyes as I bite her lower lip. Without being able to see her, it's easier to let my mind wander.

Olivia's hands caress my back, running along my spine as she begs me to take her harder, faster-

* * *

AJ thrusts, pulls himself partially out and thrusts in again. My head bounces back against the pillow. He rests on his elbows, moving above me as he works towards climax. When I dare open my eyes the ceiling haunts me. It's dull and white, just like this moment. When I was with Gregory a few days ago in this very room I wasn't even aware there was a ceiling.

I'm being unfair again. AJ's kind to me. He spends a lot of time with me and he's trying to please me. I close my eyes, finding solace in my memories of the way my life used to be. Back when I felt more then the occasional touch of light. When life was all around me, instead of a fog in my mind.

I can tell by his breathing that AJ's close to climax. I'm barely even sweating, but I start moaning for his benefit. It wouldn't be right to let him think all his efforts were a waste.

* * *

Annie's on the edge, I can tell by the nails in my back. I try to force myself into the present. The moment here with her in our bed, but I can't focus. I can't stop thinking about Olivia's eyes begging me to fulfill her needs. The way her hands begged me to take her right there in the elevator. Annie doesn't need me.

But it doesn't have to be Annie. I can forget that her hips are too sharp and her skin is too tan. I can forget the smell of expensive perfume that still makes her smell cheap. I can convince myself I'm back in my bed, with my wife. Picturing the way Olivia licks her lips when she's aroused speeds things along, and a moment after Annie cries out in satisfaction I'm on the verge.

Olivia arches her back beneath me. She screams my name into the night and I'm lost. "God Olivia-" I explode and grow limp, pulling out of her and sliding off to her side.

* * *

Without something for reference, I'd sound fake. At least that's what I tell myself as my mind runs off with memories of Gregory throwing me down to the sofa in our living room. Gregory tearing me out of my robe the night after he won his big case. When we were good he made me feel like I was the center of his universe. With AJ I'm just a part, a piece of his world. Something beautiful for the end table.

Gregory follows his hands with his tongue, running up my stomach like it's the best thing he's ever tasted. He does things to the underside of my breasts that are indescribable. No one else has ever found the spot that makes me jump out of my body. I run my own hands up to my breasts and forget they're mine. It could be Gregory's touch. I remember how he teases me. Without opening my eyes, without listening to AJ's panting- I could be anywhere. He could be with me, and I could be needed again.

AJ's climax happens half a world away. I can only think of Gregory making me wait. The way he could make me beg for him. No one holds out as well as he does. Maybe I'm over analyzing things again, but there's a sudden rush of heat in my head. AJ's kissing my neck, and if he wasn't so close to me, he'd never hear me whisper.

"Gregory-"

* * *

"You bastard!" Annie slaps me out of bed, pulling her knees up and tightening the blanket around herself. "How dare you."

I shrug and grab her hand as she raises it to slap my face again. I shove her hand back to the bed and turn away. As I reach for my clothes and start to get dressed, Annie launches a new tirade.

"How dare you compare me to that whore?" She spits out the words and I whirl on her. I can feel the heat of my anger and it's more than my lust was a moment ago.

"Don't talk about her that way." I reply softly, hoping she'll catch the warning in my posture. As I start to button up my shirt, Annie goes for broke.

"Why not?" She hisses viciously. "She cheated on you how many times through the years? She brought my father and your daughter's husband into your bed. She's obsessed with being the center of everyone's attention. I'm surprised she hasn't tried Tim yet-"

My hand lashes out to grab her throat without a conscious thought behind it. Annie doesn't care, obvious to her own danger, she keeps talking. "Or Ben- or Ricardo- they've been in your house a few times, doesn't that merit at least a roll on the rug with the charming Olivia? Maybe they should feel left out because they aren't on the list of men she's screwed yet."

I grab her shoulder and throw her back against the wall. She crashes against the headboard and falls out of the bed in a tumble of sheets and tanned skin. Annie cries out but the pain just spurs her on. She's always been a glutton for punishment. Ignoring the fact that she's nude under the sheet, Annie jumps to her feet and glares at me imperiously. "The more I think about it, the more I wonder if someone shouldn't do a paternity test on your other children. God knows Cole's too young to be the father of all of them, but I've always thought Caitlin bore a striking resemblance to my father-"

"And Sean? Sean looks more like AJ don't you think?"

I force her back to the wall across from the bed, shoving so hard that her teeth rattled as she hits the mirror. I pull my first back, grinning wickedly as real fear finally enters her stupid eyes. Without a word I slam my fist into the mirror, shattering it into a thousand glistening shards of glass.

Annie gaps in horror and I lean close to her. "Annie, if I really wanted to hurt you- it wouldn't be in my house and I wouldn't get caught."

I smooth her red hair, watching as the furious tears start in her eyes. "I never get caught." I shut our bedroom door behind me and listen as she throws something at the door and screams new obscenities at me. I finish buttoning up my shirt and pull on a blazer out of the downstairs closet. I should be able to find her at the hotel.

* * *

AJ rolls off me and leaves the bed, pulling on his robe while he looks out the window. I need to apologize, but I can't think of what to say. "AJ-" I start softly. "Oh AJ- I'm sorry."

"You were thinking about Gregory." He answers without turning back to look at me. "How often are you thinking about him?"

"I don't do that." I insist softly as I reach for my robe and get out of the rumpled sheets. "It was an honest mistake."

"A mistake?" AJ sighs heavily and turns around, hurt evident on his face. "How can you make that kind of mistake?" He throws open his arms in quiet desperation. "Are you comparing us in your mind?"

I cough on my laughter. "I'd never compare you and Gregory."

AJ doesn't see it as humorous and something dark flashes across his face. Is it envy? "Of course you wouldn't. It's my own fault really, I've been rushing you to get over him. When you obviously need more time." He takes his clothes to the bathroom and shuts the door. When I hear the shower start I jump to the phone.

I shouldn't dial, but I do. My fingers remember his number like my own name. I start to speak as soon as I hear his intake of breath on the other end. "I'm going to be alone in twenty minutes."

"No, you're not." Gregory laughs into his cell. "I'll make sure I pass Mr. Deschanel in the lobby."

* * *

True to my word I'm there in the lobby of the hotel twenty minutes time, and as I expected, the illustrious Mr. Deschanel is sidled up to the bar, knocking back a glass of something strong. Maybe that's his connection to Olivia, the way they both try to drink their pain away. But unlike my former wife, AJ can't blame me for his problems, however much he wants too.

He sets down the glass and gestures the attractive young brunette over to fill his glass again. "You don't know how much time I've spent trying to help her get over her husband. But no matter what I do her ex-husband is always there. It's like he's with us in the bed." He swirls his glass and I can smell the bourbon on him as I slip up unnoticed behind him.

"And tonight-" He taps the bottle in her hand with his empty glass and I can barely hold back my laughter. I know what he's going to say before AJ finishes the complaint. "Tonight I'm kissing her neck and I think we're both enjoying the afterglow, but she closes her eyes and whispers-"

"Gregory." I finish for him as I open my waller to drop some money on the bar for his drinks. "Let me buy those for you AJ." I pull out a twenty, but exchange it for a hundred dollar bill. "Twenty might not be enough."

He stares daggers at me and his hand tightens around his glass. I can see the violence in his eyes. "Don't look so surprised AJ, I'm sure it's happened to you before. You can't be a international sensation without having a little problem with names now and then." I study the pain in his face and bury my smile, taking on a serious tone. "Though it's never hurt as much as it did tonight, did it?"

I pat his shoulder and turn to walk away. AJ grabs me and pulls me around by my collar. The stink of alcohol is ripe on his breath. "Olivia isn't yours anymore."

I put up my hands innocently and dissuade the bartender from getting involved. "That is the trouble with you AJ. Olivia was never 'mine', although, I must say I've always known what she likes-" I twist out of his grasp and retreat towards the elevator. "Something it seems you need to work on."

* * *

I leave the bed a mess and fill the bathtub. Oceanview's bath oil gives the room the deep scent of jasmine. The bubbles pile high over the edge of the marble tub. I remove my robe and hang it over the corner of the open bathroom door. The stereo in the corner comes on to tonight's symphony concert. I turn it up, wouldn't do to have our neighbors complaining. I shiver as I climb into the hot water, I slip beneath the water and close my eyes. I'll deal with AJ tomorrow. Tonight I deserve to spend some time thinking about myself.

The door creaks open, but he feels no need to announce his presence directly. Gregory hums along with the symphony as he pulls my robe off the edge of the door. It's silk, west Indian, black with rich lavender embroidery. More of his taste than AJ's and it's obvious in the grin on his face that he knows and appreciates my choice. He holds it to his face for a moment, and I wonder if he remembers that perfume from our trip to Carmel.

"Sindora de Galimard," He remembers with a suggestive smile. "Smells better on you-" Gregory sits on the edge of the tub and stokes my cheek with a lazy hand. "Most perfumes do."

Gregory's hand traces down the arm I left on the edge of the tub, but he's most gratified to find my knee.

* * *

I run my hand through the bubbles, all the way down her calf to her ankle, as I'm working my way back up I lean over to kiss her cheek. "So you called him Gregory?"

Olivia laughs and reaches for my collar with a damp hand. "I've called everyone 'Gregory'"

I join her laughter as I move towards her lips, her neck is silky soft from the bath. "I did the same thing. Got myself kicked out of Annie's bed."

"I'd kick you out to if you called me 'Gregory'." She splashes me playfully and takes her knee out of my reach.

I capture her teasing mouth and press her down into the bath. "Maybe I won't let you speak."

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Olivia teases me as she pulls herself up slightly in the bath. Her breasts are still hiding under the layer of bubbles, only the thin translucence of soap between me and the unmatched beauty of her nude body. Her hand strokes it's way down the open front of my shirt. "We've never been good at talking to each other."

Her fingers trace my lips, letting me taste the jasmine water on her skin. Olivia's right but she has an insight into our relationship that's hers alone. "I want you." I respond without preamble. "I've been thinking about you for days- the only way I even got in the mood for Anne was to think about you."

* * *

"I bet she loved that." I return vindictively as I pull his hands down beneath the bubbles to my breasts. "This is what a real woman feels like." Licking my lips as he finds the sensitive places and explores them with knowing fingers. He knows the curve of my breast, and the way to caress it so that I can't think about anything else. The water soaks up the sleeves of his shirt and he bites down into my bottom lip.

"I don't think 'real' describes you accurately-" Gregory whispers as he nibbles down the side of my neck. "Exceptional-" His hands squeeze harder, coaxing a moan unbidden from my throat. "Stunning-" One hand slips down my stomach, cupping the rise of my hip bone. Gregory pulls me up, pulling us together against the rim of the tub. The cold marble is such a shock that we're both catching our breath. "Gorgeous-" His thumb grazes across my left nipple, teasing it to a point as he rises up on his knees.

"And oh so very tempting-" He lowers his mouth to the rise of my breasts and bites into them, there's a hunger in his voice that can't be faked. Something he only has for me.

* * *

"And you want me." She answers with quiet certainty as she wraps her arms around the back of my neck. I kiss her upper lip, slipping inside her mouth with a questing tongue. Olivia knows the answer to her question, but she pulls us apart.

"You called me." I remind her as I undo the buttons on the cuff of my shirt, letting me roll up the sodden sleeves.

Deciding she'd rather have my shirt off, she pulls herself up in the bath exposing her breasts just over the rim of the tub and entirely captivating my attention. Smiling knowingly as she follows my gaze, Olivia leaves a trail of kisses down my chest. "I called you because I needed something-"

We reach for my pants together, water sloshing over to the floor. She rises back to my neck, biting curve of my ear playfully. "Something I couldn't get from AJ Deschanel."

I laugh, feeling the flush of pride and arousal redden my face. I suck on the soft flesh of her neck, feeling a free tendril of hair brush my cheek as it escapes from the twist on her head. "And you can get that from me? What if I'm tired-"

Olivia's hand reaches boldly into my fly, reminding me just how well she can read my breathing as she manipulates me. "It seems that Annie didn't wear you out at all."

I let her tease me as I enjoy ripeness of her breasts as they rest on the rim of the tub between us and come close enough to touch my chest I know I can resist her long enough to be what she wants. There's a dark hunger in the back of her eyes because he didn't even have the good sense to finish her off. AJ left her wanting and it's suddenly it isn't a surprise that she called me. "Annie lacks your experience-"

That same need crawls into her voice. The way her tongue plunges into my mouth is desperate. "And AJ lacks your endurance."

* * *

I press our bodies together, realizing that the positioning is going to need to change. Gregory's kneeling there, nearly panting with arousal and I'm already out of my clothes. I push him back and stand up, listening to the cascade of water off of my body. Instead of standing in response, he nuzzles my thighs, finding the most sensitive place to flick out his tongue. I grab his head, digging my fingers into his hair as I feel the moan fight out of my throat.

He remains there a moment, pulling me into his mouth to tease me between his teeth and lips. My legs tremble and I have to grab the wall with one hand to keep my balance. "Oh god-" Falls from my lips as the flash of heat runs up my stomach. Gregory decides not to let up, and instead of moving his way up my body, he remains where he is. And he knows exactly what he's doing with his tongue. He sucks, catching me between the softness of his lips and the teasing wall of his teeth.

He pulls me down to sit on the edge of the bathtub, thoughtfully noticing that my legs are shaking under the maddening touch of his tongue. I lean back, keeping hold of his head with one hand as I hold on to the wall behind me. There's no containing my moan of pleasure or the desperate trembling of my body. I close my eyes, losing the ability to feel anything but his touch. His hands crawl up my hips, keeping me right where he wants me.

There's a beauty in the way her body arcs back, an earthly expression of the incredible glory of her. Something AJ obviously missed because the her cries are hungry. Olivia's losing fast, spiraling up to where I want her. Her fingers dig into my hair, pulling at my scalp but she only spurs me onward. My name slipped out before, but this time she's going to scream it. Speeding up together, I let the need in her breathing guide me.

I watch as her head rolls across her shoulders. Olivia's dark hair curls in the steam from the bath and the graceful line of her neck twitches as she screams. It starts without meaning but coalesces into my name. Her eyes snap open, and the sudden contraction of her body nearly knocks her back into the bath. I catch her and hold her steady, kissing the hollow between her breasts as I feel the expansion of her chest. Oxygen can't seem to come fast enough and she drops her head to my shoulder.

Running my hands over the s-curve of her back, I can still smell the jasmine of the bathwater. The taste of her is on my lips as I lick up the beads of moisture from her skin. Letting her take her time to recover will be worth it and I've never needed any encouragement to play with her body.

* * *

He stands up slowly, licking the water from my body as he goes. I take a slow breath and embrace the way Gregory's left my head spinning. Pushing him back against the sink, I press into the friction of his chest. His hands slide in the skim of water left on my skin. I can hear the stereo from the living room, the orchestra races like his heart as I press my forehead to his chest. His skin is salty with sweat and I chase up to his chin with my lips.

"I want you." I growl out as I strip him of his pants. I push him down to the tiled floor, stradling his waist as I lower myself down over his chest. I kiss his forehead and run the tip of my tongue ever his temple down to his cheek. Gregory sucks on my upper lip and I can taste myself as his tongue leads mine into his mouth. His hands find my breasts and catch my nipples. Gregory squeezes into them until I bite his neck in retaliation.

Laughing as I gasp in shock, we find each other's mouths again. He's becoming more aroused, wanting more of me as his stamina roars back to him. Gregory shoves me down his body, grinding our hips across each other. He's swollen with desire and I lift myself from him, letting him slide inside. Widening in pleasure, his dark eyes remind me what connection is. Our bodies are secondary, they serve only to act out the pantomime of our souls.

* * *

Being within her is the kind of sensation heaven is made out of. I may not have earned a place there, but in this brief tragedy of life I know what it feels like. Olivia surrounds me with warmth, the kind of gentle heat that burns through my skin. Her teeth dance across my chest, teasing before she makes her way back to my chin. Holding steady, she denies me the friction of motion.

She likes the upper hand, the sense of power in knowing that all she has to do is move her hips to deliver me to ecstasy. Her lips curl into a wicked smile as she leans up from my chest. It's too warm in the bathroom to feel cold, even with the tile beneath my back. Olivia rests her hands on my chest as she pulls off of me and exposes me to the air for just a moment. It's long enough to send a shiver down my spine before she slides back down.

Rocking forward again, she keeps her body close to my chest and locks her arms beneath my shoulders. Finding my lips again is her urgent plea to have more of our skin in contact. My hands grab her hips, tracing down over the fullness of her nude bottom. Olivia's knees are bent to the floor and as she releases me to the air again I slip my hands between us so I can find her nipples again. This time the pressure of my fingers earns a moan from deep within her chest.

* * *

Gregory's hands leave my breasts to cradle my shoulders, he flips us over, turning me to the tile that's still warm from his back. He thrusts into me as soon as he finds the leverage, eyes gleaming black and hungry. Bending back my legs gently, he finds the angle he prefers and dives within me. Our positioning is instinctual because we know how our bodies fit. Teasing around the curve of my breast, he takes the tip of it and sucks it into the warm wetness of his mouth. His hips grind against me and moaning does little to relieve the tingling sensation rising up from my hips.

Thrusting deep, he caresses my with the firm thumb of his right hand. Gregory wants me to tighten around him, to enjoy his presence as much as he needs to be within me. It's impossible to allow him my body without pulling him into my heart. He sees that in my eyes, hears it in the way i can't stop whispering his name.

"Liv-" Gregory's voice holds an offer, as much as he has to give he'll pour into me. The tingling explodes, sending my nerves into a storm of electricity. Black eyes beg me, and the smell of his cologne reminds me of the hundred times I've been in this place. My body's running without my mind, heart steering me towards the wanting. I'm tired of being empty, tired of trying to remember what love tastes like.

I crush our mouths together, arching against the weight of his chest and suddenly- finally- I'm not empty anymore.

* * *

Lust burns away in the purity of her scream. I'm lost to her, my body trades ejaculation for the sensation of fulfillment. Olivia returns my gesture, enfolding me in her arms as though she could pull all of me within her. Our lungs empty together and in that moment we're both dead. We've died together and resurrect each other as feeling returns to our bodies. Olivia's trembling lips kiss my neck and I feel tears burn my eyes. Love's made and exchanged in the space of a heartbeat and consequences are an eternity away.

Lying over me, she keeps me within as the sound of our labored breathing draws me back. Her cheek brushes against mine and mingles our sweat on my face. The tumble of her hair and the responsibilities of our lives are going to be a nest of tangles tomorrow. I brush the errant mass out along the floor and wish life were as easy to smooth.

Olivia releases me as she gets shakily to her knees, and I reach up for her, sitting up to thank her with a kiss. It deepens, trading our gratitude as our lips sigh apart.

"You don't have to go home tonight-" Olivia whispers into my hand as I cup her face.

i can't trust myself to lie about wanting to return to my house and my eyes fall into a grin. "Are you asking me to stay?"

* * *

I pull the robe over my shoulders with my back to him, pulling out my hair free from the silk and letting it hang down my back. Gregory's arms encircle my waist, and I lower my hands to greet him. "I'm offering to keep you."

His whisper of reply echoes down my ear to quake in my heart. "Liv, tonight there's no question who I belong too." His ring, his wedding ring, clinks metallic as he drops it next to the sink.

Naked now, his hand slips into my own and I lead him to the bed. The bath, the sodden pile of his clothing, and the terrible mess of our lives can all wait until morning. Now there's the bed, the comfort of his body and rhythm of our breathing. Now is all we have.


	5. truth

Our jackets lie abandoned on the floor, her shoes scattered between the sofa and the desk. Her shirt flutters loose from her shoulders, leaving them bare to the touch. My fingers leave pink marks on the smooth ivory of her skin as I pull her closer to me. Olivia buries her head against my chest, biting the collar of my shirt to keep herself from moaning loud enough for my poor secretary to hear her. Her skirt hikes up over her hips, leaving me the space to slip between her legs. Her ankles lock behind my back and I slide my hands up her back to pull her closer. I rely on her to set the pace, and the shaking of her shoulders against me hints that she's on the edge of more then just my desk.

I can taste the sweat on her neck and she's delicious as I nibble up to her hairline. Damp curls brush against my chest as she lifts her head from my chest to kiss me. She bites in my lips, stealing the breath from my lungs. Olivia slips away from my kiss, loosing the ability to control herself. Her sharp inhalation echoes through my office, and I quickly force my mouth over hers to absorb her scream of release. Her hands claw against my back, irritating the skin beneath my shirt. I let go into her, feeling her collapse around me. We lean against the desk and she struggles for breath in my arms.

"You're a better workout then my golf game." My whisper turns her panting to laughter.

She kisses my neck, soothing the mark she's left there with her nails. "That's what you told Annie you were doing?"

I do up my trousers, smoothing the sweet spot of her thighs as she smiles at me wickedly. "Of course, she knows I like to spend my Friday afternoons at the golf course."

Content, she sighs lazily and lets me keep my hands where they are. "What about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow she'll be in New York, maxing out her credit on Madison Avenue." I bury my hands beneath her shirt, running up to caress her breasts. "Can you get away?"

Olivia uses her legs to pull me closer, the reflection of passion still dark in her eyes. "What am I getting away too?"

"Dinner." I run my hands slowly down and sneak them all the way out to her knees. "A very private dinner. Roses, candles-" I suck on the soft skin beneath the line of her jaw. "Chocolate-"

Planting her lips in the middle of my chest, she smiles up at me as I shudder in remembered delight. "Sounds romantic. Too bad Annie's going to be out of town."

I chuckle and shake my head. "It's going to be wasted on me I'm afraid."

She sighs with resignation and starts to button her shirt. "I suppose I could join you. It would be a shame for your dinner to be wasted because you don't appreciate chocolate."

Pulling myself up on the desk next to her, I start in on the buttons of my shirt as well. "It's not that I don't, I just appreciate other things more."

"For example?" Olivia pulls her skirt down as she slips off the desk. If it weren't of a softer fabric it would be wrinkled beyond wearing, but she came prepared.

I catch her arm and pull her in, because I want to smell her hair again. "Your eyes. The way you make me feel like I'm fresh out of law school again."

"I'm afraid you can't eat my eyes." She deadpans as I caress her cheek.

Following my finger with my lips, I smile at her with quiet admiration. "That would be a waste of them, wouldn't it?" She lets me finish a circuit around her chin. "Maybe I'll have to admire them from afar."

"You're not very far away." Purring as she leans into my touch, Olivia searches my eyes for the truth.

"Sometimes I feel I'm worlds away from you. Even when we're in the same room." I sigh and rest my head against her forehead. "What happened to us?"

Olivia turns away, but her head leans back into my chest. She pulls my arms around her, keeping our connection even if we can't look at each other. "We are who we are. We've both done things we regret. Things that have driven us apart."

"Maybe we've let that matter too much." I venture bravely. I wouldn't be able to say it if I could see the hurt that must be in her eyes. "Things in the past aren't what we should judge our lives on."

Her hands fidget with the cuffs of my shirt, and I can feel her chest flatten with emotion, but I can't read it in her voice. "What should we judge ourselves on? if we aren't the sum of our past, what do we have?"

It's out before I can censor myself. "Each other."

"Do we?" She starts to pull out of my arms, but I hold onto her. Olivia's breathing is quick again, but we're beyond making love. This is far more dangerous.

I can't let go and I hold her to me even when she struggles for escape again. "We keep coming back to each other. Doesn't that say something to you Liv?"

She gasps in surprise. The nickname cuts into her heart, eating at her resolve. "What should it say?"

I'm not controlling my own voice at all anymore. "That there's a still a connection, something neither of us can deny."

Olivia's voice softens, exhausted with emotion. "Perhaps denial is all we have left Gregory."

I whirl her around and stare into her eyes. They burn from the pain behind them, agonies that I've caused her. Guilt cuts into us both, slicing the air between us. "Denial is all that's keeping us from the truth! Why can't you see that?"

She grabs my hands, pulling them in to her chest and clinging to them. "Because I'm blind when I look at you." Olivia's grip is painfully tight but she's not letting go either. I doubt she can. "You're-" She shakes her head, shutting her eyes against my gaze. "You have been, you are, my life. My whole life and I- God, I don't even know where to start thinking about that."

"Olivia, I lo-" She cuts me off, throwing a hand over my mouth.

"Don't- Don't say it."

I kiss her hand softly and let it fall away from my lips. "It's the truth."

"A lie wouldn't rip my heart out." Olivia drops my hands and leans on the desk for support. "That's why it hurts so much."

"Hey-" I can't stand to see her cry, but I cause that pain. I made each one of the tears that runs down that beautiful face. I touch her back, praying we aren't too far gone and I can still rescue something. To my great surprise, Olivia turns into my hand, rushing back to rest in my arms.

Her shoulders are shaking again, trembling like my heart. "I- I do. I do too."


	6. caught

I move my hand towards the strawberries and smirk as he pulls his back. Not touching each other is nearly as maddening as touch is intoxicating and we send Gregory fingers the edge of his napkin and watches as I catch the liquid chocolate off the tip of the ripe fruit with my tongue.

"What did you do today?" He runs one finger lazily across the table a breath away from my left hand.

"Went shopping." I reply softly as I slide my hand teasingly over closer to his. "I wanted something new for tonight."

He nods and refills his glass of Bordeaux. Gregory's always had such a fondness for it. "I knew I didn't recognize that blouse." He teases softly as he fingers the stem of his glass. "You look amazing in that shade of yellow."

I'm so caught up in his devastating smile that I miss the dangerous drop of chocolate heading for my new blouse. Gregory's quick hand closes down on my right breast, stopping the chocolate with the back of his hand. It remains there, sending a tingling sensation through my chest. I stare down at his hand as it doesn't move. The chocolate remains liquid on his skin and his fingers instinctually sink into the softness of my breast.

"Thank you." I whisper as I try not to think about the weight of his hand or the glimmer in his eyes.

Gregory lifts his hand, offering the stray chocolate to me as he winks playfully. "Would be a shame to have let you ruin your new blouse."

"I only bought it to have dinner with you, it served it's purpose." I lick chocolate from the back of his hand and he brings it back to his lips to kiss the place I touched.

"Are you saying you're done with dinner?" He barely waits for me to nod before he's whisking me away to the sofa. That sofa was one of few things we kept when he moved me to this awful house.

"Yes-" He pulls me down next to him, threatening my knee with his hand as I bit my lip. "I guess I am."

Gregory reaches for my face, catching his fingers on the back of my neck to bring me close. His lips part slightly, wet and wanting.

"Wait." I turn away just before he can kiss me and he sighs away, leaning back into the sofa, disappointment etched on his face.

"What?" Gregory does his best to quell his annoyance but his desire is still hot in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

I remove his hand from my neck and drop it to my lap. His fingers are naked tonight, Annie's wedding ring is somewhere far away. Just like her. I lick my lips nervously and remind myself I'm not going to get a better chance to tell him. "I have to-" I pause, looking away from those burning brown eyes. "You need to-"

Dammit Olivia. I walk my eyes up his chest and feel his strength as Gregory squeezes my hand. He knows already. It's just a formality, but I want to say it. I want it in the open between us. "I love you."

Both hands grab my chin, tilting it up as he closes warm lips over my own trembling ones. I collapse into his chest and we cuddle back into the sofa cushions. The hurry's gone from our movements, we have all night together. Gregory rests his head over mine, fingers toying with the collar of my blouse as I feel him take a fortifying breath. "Liv-"

"You don't have to say anything-" I try to spare him, in case he isn't ready, in case I've gone too quickly.

"I love you." He starts to relax as soon as the admission is out of his mouth. "And I did have to, Olivia, I don't think I've ever told you enough that I do- I love you."

Neither of us heard the door. Neither of us heard the footsteps that advanced on us. We jolt off the sofa as soon as we hear the crash of ceramic and stone.

Annie's in a blaze of fury in front of the open doorway. She lifts the other decorative vase and smashes it on the floor at our feet. "Bitch!" Her shopping bag drops at her feet and she throws an expensive high-heeled shoe at my head. "Get out of my house!"

The other shoe sings past Gregory's shoulder and she chooses a more dangerous weapon. The heavy silver candle holder would have hurt terribly if Gregory hadn't pulled me out of the way. He puts me behind him as he runs to keep her from throwing the other candle holder. Crushing her arm to her side, Gregory squeezes her wrist until she lets it go. Annie can't stand to have him touching her and she pulls back her hand to punch him across the face.

She connects with a crack of knuckles against bone. Gregory winces slightly, but Annie's the one who recoils in pain. Clutching her hand to her chest, Annie's obviously in pain as she starts to cry furiously. "How can you love her?"

Gregory's expression turns to stone and she beats his chest with her good hand. "She killed your baby!" There's danger in his face. He's never looked at me like that and I think I'd fear for my life if he did. "That whore got drunk and killed your baby! How can you possibly-"

"Dammit Annie! I would never hurt Trey." Everything stops, even Annie's tears. She starts to cover, babbling something ridiculous, but Gregory knows better. He knows that instinct never lies.

"Trey is our son-" Gregory's always been too smart for his own good.

I wasn't going to tell him. Our fledgling relationship isn't ready for that kind of revelation, but it's out now. The last secret. Suddenly my head's spinning and I sink into the sofa. I wasn't going to tell him.

The door to the house slams. "Annie, you'll have to get a hotel room." Gregory yells at her through the door. "I'm not dealing with you now. You're just going to wait."

She screams, railing against the door, shouting profanities at both of us. Something slams into the door and then it's quiet. Miserably quiet because he's coming after me. I can't look up from my hands. Seeing his face will make it all real and reality is the farthest thing from this moment.

Annie's signed her death warrant. Caitlin's going to lose her baby all over again and Gregory's not going to let sentiment hold him back. The world's coming to an end and no one warned me.

When I finally look up from my hands, I'm back in that terrible cabin again. Feeling the touch of his hand on my shoulder as if he's a ghost, I can't look at him. All I see is the dingy ceiling above that bed. "I wanted you." I shake my head slowly, fighting back tears as the memory of the pain floods back. My stomach clenches down in a mockery of labor. His hand finds its' way into mine and I cling to it.

"I begged her for you." My breath catches in my throat, and I can smell the dust in the cabin. The strange old smell of the sheets on the bed fills my nose. "I needed you."

Gregory's arms close tight around me, but even the rich smell of his cologne can't drown out the memories. "I passed out and the baby-"

"Shhh..." The ghost of Gregory's presence whispers in my ear as another contraction rips across my stomach.

Annie's eyes are so cold as she pulls her hand away from my grip. She's impatient, her forehead furrows as she watches me. What does she want from me?

"The baby started coming." The phantom pain resurfaces again, burning through my stomach. I crush our hands down against it, trying to remind myself that it's not happening. Memories can't hurt me but this- This isn't a memory now. "Annie wouldn't let me go."

Something's wrong. The contractions aren't changing, the baby should be close by now. "It hurt. It hurt so much, and I couldn't get away from her."

I can feel hot rush of amniotic fluid down my thighs and the sudden release of pressure. "She had to break my water."

Gregory's free hand runs over my head and I can almost feel him in the cabin with me. Holding me as Annie delivers our son. I'm covered in a thin sheen of sweat, just like I was then. I can even feel the slow, hot trickle of blood down my leg. "She let me hold him. Gregory, he was so beautiful." Our baby's angelic face stares up at me from the blanket Annie wrapped him in. In that moment, everything was perfect.

"He was so beautiful-" She should have killed me. It would have hurt less than watching her take our baby away. I can hear the door shut behind her, and I can't stop sobbing. "And she took him away."

Gregory holds me even tighter, chasing away the ghosts of the cabin. The sound of his voice gradually becomes clearer over my grief. "I'll get him back." Gregory promises in a whisper. Holding on to him is the only way I have to hold on to the present. Everything blurs together. Annie's face telling me to stop whining and Gregory's hands on my shoulders seem to happen in the same moment. I'm empty, numb as I was when Annie disappeared through that doorway.

Gregory's talking to me. It's soft and comforting but I can't find words in it. It's enough to know it's his voice. It's enough that he's here. "You came." I whisper softly as I realize I'm not sure where I am anymore. Maybe it's all been a dream and I'm still in the cabin.

He picks me up, carrying me out to his waiting car- or is it upstairs? My eyes and my mind disagree on where I am, so I stop trying to know. He's here. His hands are carefully removing my earrings and setting them aside. My shirt comes off of my shoulders as he undresses me. I'm sitting somewhere else, but I don't bother to open my eyes. I don't need to know. Gregory's going to make everything all right. He slides something over my head, tucks me into his bed and crawls in next to me. The one thing I'll remember him saying echoes in my head through the din of memory. "I love you."


	7. sleepwalking

I'm walking through the Liberty building, the faceless office doors around me are all closed. My hands are empty and I turn back to my office quickly, chiding myself for forgetting my briefcase as I go. The hallway darkens, turning from warm wood paneling to black. The floor starts to get misty, like a chill morning's fog. It registers somewhere in my mind that this isn't reality, but, in the way that dreams run along regardless of logic, I continue.

My office is nearly pitch black, but my briefcase stands out on my desk as if it were glowing. I grab it and and turn to the door. As I reach to shut off the light, I hear something, faint and impossible to place. I shake it off and start walking towards the elevator. Annie will be waiting for me at home. The elevator's just down the way.

Annie's not the first thing on my mind though. For some reason it's Olivia and this time the phantom sound is also identifiable. Someone's crying. I shake off the sound as unreasonable. No one cries in an office building. I keep walking towards the elevator but it just keeps getting father away. All around me the crying gets louder. I jiggle a knob on my left but it's locked. There's a door on my right, but it's locked as well.

These offices shouldn't be locked. They should just be empty. I don't remember there being more doors between me and the elevator but the hallway just keeps getting longer. The crying is all around me, growing louder with every locked door. It's a woman and she's terrified. I have to find her. I can't tell who she is, but I'm struck with the sudden, desperate need to find her.

The hallway goes on forever now and I can't see the end through the mist. The sobbing fills my ears and finally I recognize the voice. Olivia's crying and I have to get to her. I have to help her.

"Gregory? I want Gregory-" My feet thud against the floor as I start to run.

"I need him-" Her sobbing rises in pitch and I can hear the pain behind her sobbing. She's in terrible agony and I can't find her because the hallway just keeps going. My briefcase hits the floor and I keep running. There are doors all around me but all are locked.

"Gregory!"

Her scream's still echoing in my ears as I sit bolt upright in bed. I can hear the rush of my breath out of my chest as my heart races to keep up. My hands are sweating as I clutch the sheets. Even though I'm awake I can't get the sobbing out of my mind. The crying followed me out of the dream and I throw off my blankets to get some fresh air. I throw open the window to the quiet night. It's raining slightly, but even that gentle patter against the leaves in the garden can't drown out the dammed crying. I've never had a nightmare persist so vehemently before.

I try force my logical mind around my dream. I started out at the work. Even my subconscious mind can't get itself out of the office. Hearing Olivia crying was obviously because I'm concerned about her. I've never seen her disappear into her mind like that before. Her eyes were blank. She had that empty stare where she looks right through me. I take a step out onto the balcony and hope the cold rain shocks me back to reality.

Trey is my son. The little boy I've been raising as my grandson is actually my ison/i. Those big blue eyes are Olivia's, not Caitlin's.

"Caitlin had to get a baby because she lost hers." Olivia told me dully as I tried to get her to sleep. "We killed her baby and losing Trey is going to kill her."

I shake her guilt out of my mind. "Caitlin may be our daughter, but he's our second chance Liv." I whisper to the rain as it runs down through my hair. "I'll make you see that."

Rain still gets cold in California, even if the air was hot all day. I rest my elbows on the railing of our balcony and watch the ocean dance against the shore. Our son is alive. The death certificate in my puzzle box is a fake, a lie of my new wife. Olivia springs unbidden to my mind again along with the terrible realization that I've betrayed her. I took into my bed the woman who stole our child. The woman who made me believe our baby was dead and told me the love of my life had killed him.

A shudder of guilt runs up my spine as I realize I've blamed Olivia all this time. I've hated her for a betrayal that was mine alone. I turned my back on her when she needed me. I accused her of murdering our son. No wonder my dreams are haunted by her sobbing. I created this horror. I built this nightmare with my own hands the day I left her alone.

What was I thinking? What could possibly be in my office that was more important than my wife and child? If I had just stayed with her, I'd still have them both. I'd be raising my son with my wife by my side. If only I had been more careful, more involved, more supportive- If I had seen Annie for what she was...

My fist slams into the railing hard enough to throw droplets of water all around me. A shock of pain runs up my arm and I relish it. I embrace the stinging of the angry nerves of my arm. Physical pain has no sway over the agony in my soul. No power over my own guilt.

I should have been there. I should have been home. She needed me to protect her and I ripped her heart out. After all of that, she's still in my bed. She still takes my hand when she's terrified. Olivia still cries my name out in her nightmares. That's what these months have been- a nightmare, that I've only just started to awaken from.

"I'm going to keep my eyes open now Liv." The encompassing black of the sky echoes my heart. I've done this damage. I've caused this pain and it's up to me to set things right. I can only hope I have enough life left to atone for all of my actions.

Small hands grab my arms and try to pull me back out of the downpour. When I refuse to budge, arms wrap around my waist and remain. I feel her head rest warm against my back, keeping the rain from me with her body.

When she shivers in the cold I recognize the feeling of her body. Too soft to be Annie, my body insists it has to be Olivia. I should push her away and remind her that I'm the one who has caused all her pain. I deserve her hatred, the same scorching disdain I treated her with when we were lost. I'm too weak to let her go. I turn around and hold her to my chest, not because she needs to be held, but because I can't stand to be alone.

It doesn't matter that we don't speak. It barely registers to either of us that we don't have anything to say. Right now we need the contact of skin against skin, the comfort of the sound of our heartbeats. Layers of emotion don't matter. Words are meaningless. We need, we beg each other and we answer in the only way we have left. Everything between us is fictional, my women, her men, the screaming and the crying is all part of the our tragedy.

But the curtain's down. The dust is settling and it's only the two of us. I'm trembling and she's still crying. The rain pours down over us as an icy absolution. How many wrongs have to be between two people before they find their right?

Eventually I'm the one who pulls us back inside. Without her I would have stayed outside until dawn, but with her I know better. With her I have purpose. The pajama top I threw over her head is drenched. Leaving her over the tile in the bathroom, I search for something else to dress her in. "Darling, we're going to have to move your clothing back. Wouldn't be right to keep forcing you to borrow." Annie's clothes are wrong for her.

Settling for a towel, I start at Olivia's head and work my way down her body. As I strip my wet shirt up over her head I earn the ghost of a smile. She's only a notch above sleepwalking and she probably won't even remember the kiss I leave on her cheek as I tuck her in. I dump my own sodden clothing in a heap on the bathroom floor. Running a towel over my body, I crawl in next to her. She immediately curls up in my arms. The smooth skin of her back is still cool from the rain but starts to warm against my chest.

This is it. Her hair tumbles damp over my arm, my hands rest on the skin of her stomach, her back presses softly against my chest and I know the one absolute. The truth I've been in search of all my life.

This is where I belong.


	8. home

My head hurts and it's the pain that drags me awake. The sun's bright across the bed, shining with an enthusiasm I don't feel. Something happened last night but my head's still in a haze. I roll over instinctually towards the right on the bed. Right is Gregory's side. His side's going to be empty, just as it's been since the divorce.

I start to roll back when I realize the bed isn't empty. Warmth- body heat assails my senses and I cuddle into it. Maybe I'm dreaming, but there's an arm around my shoulders that insists I'm not. The hair of his chest brushes against my cheek and I realize he's nude. When his fingers run up my back, I realize I'm nude as well.

What was going on last night?

Trey. It was about Trey. "Gregory knows!" I remember in a flood of anguish. "Oh god Gregory-"

"Shhh..." Comes the immediate response. He's here, now. That's Gregory's voice. His hand on my arm reassuring me. "It's all right now. Everything is going to be all right."

I pull the sheet up over my chest as I sit up in a panic. My head complains immediately at the change in position. "How is it going to be all right?" He catches my hand on it's way to my face. "Annie stole our baby."

Gregory props himself up on one elbow and kisses my hand delicately. "I took him back."

"But Caitlin-" I start to protest as I turn away from him towards the edge of the bed. Gregory sits up, catching me and pulling me back to his chest. My head doesn't ache when he holds it against his neck.

"Caitlin shouldn't have lied." He arranges the sheet over my chest and holds me close in his arms. "She bought a baby."

"Because she lost hers!" I remind him, but it's hard to be angry when he traces my temples like that. It's entirely unfair that a man who causes so many headaches is so good at chasing them away.

"You never would have considered telling me our child was still alive after our miscarriage." Gregory leans back against the headboard and moves his hands down to my shoulders. "I imagine Cole's going to be just as angry with her as I am. She's been passing off our son as theirs for months. She didn't even give him a chance to grieve."

I can't tell him Cole could be raising his own son. A son I could conceived with the man Gregory hates most in the world. That debt's been paid by both of us. The pain we caused each other outweighs even our terrible misdeeds. I can't even bring myself to feel anything but numb about it anymore. "We lost a grandchild we never knew."

He coaxes the tension from my shoulders, bringing me slowing into this new reality where our son is coming home. I should feel for Caitlin and empathize with her pain, but I just want to hold my son and tell him that I love him. That I've always loved him. "But our son is coming home." He reminds me with the same quiet patience.

I close my eyes, feeling the quiet of his bedroom settle into my heart. "Home to you?"

"Home to us." Gregory pulls my hair back, letting it fall over my bare shoulders. "I want you back."

I kiss his cheek and feel the stubble of a long night. "I am back."

"Back in my heart." He cups my chin and meets my eyes with bitter honesty. "But I need you back in my life, in my house, in my bed-"

My tiny chuckle surprises me. "I'm in your bed right now."

Gregory's smile promises he'll never cease to amaze me. " Will you be here tomorrow?"

I bit my lip as the gravity of his request hits me. It's certainly not as impressive as the first time he proposed but it's just as effective. My hesitation prompts him to continue.

"I'd like to have you here, tomorrow, next week, a year from now-." Taking my hand, he caresses the space on my finger where my rings used to live. He takes my hand to his chest and dives into my eyes. "I need you to be here."

I can't look away from him and he knows. Gregory wouldn't have brought it up if he wasn't sure of my answer. "I'm here darling."

"Promise you'll stay."

"With you?"

"With me." He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the space on my finger.

"You're with Annie." I argue weakly but he disagrees as he makes his way down to my wrist.

Glancing over at the watch on his nightstand, Gregory gives me a victorious smile. "I've been a free man for nineteen minutes. the courier dropped off the divorce papers at Annie's feet promptly at nine this morning."

Laughing with him is like finally coming home. "Certainly didn't take you long to move on."

His gaze burns with that intensity that stole my heart so many years ago. "I never moved on. No one else held a candle to my first love."

"Oh darling." It's still there. The sparkle he had the first time he looked at me. Does he see it in my eyes now?

Gregory must see it because he exudes nothing but confidence. "Let us be a family with our son."

"Yes." I whisper finally, nearly too softly for him to hear me. I nod, fighting exhausted tears out of my eyes. Our kiss says goodbye to the way we were. It's the end of an affair and the start of something more permanent and infinitely more precious.

"Our son." I repeat gently as we pull apart. "Trey's our son."

Gregory winces slightly and reaches for my shoulders as he leans back against the headboard again. "We're going to have to change his name. I've always hated that nickname."

His hands find a home on my stomach and I smile at the welcoming sunlight in the window. "Gregory Richards Jr."

"Liv-" He ceases his protest when I squeeze his hand.

"I'm not debating it." I tilt my head up to better slip into the hollow of his neck. "He's your son and I love the sound of it. Gregory Richards Jr-"

"Would you settle for Gregory Thomas?" He fidgets the sheet and strokes his hand lazily down my shoulder. "I want to have something to call him that doesn't make me think I'm talking to myself."

I might have been happy, somehow, without him. Perhaps I would have forgotten what bliss was like. Now it's all I can think about. "Love you." I choke on the first syllable and curl into his chest. "Gregory Thomas Richards is coming home."

"That's the theme of the day isn't it darling?" Gregory looks at his watch again and crawls out of bed towards his robe. "Now, if I know Annie as well as I think I do- you're going to love this part."

He's just finished tying the belt of his robe when she breaks down the door, divorce papers in hand. "What the hell is this?" Her eyes glare at the bed as if she could set it on fire with me in it. "An affair I could understand, one last roll in the hay before you put her out of your mind forever. But divorce? Wasn't I enough for you?"

Gregory sits down on the bed next to me, handing me one of his shirts to pull as he holds the sheet up. "It's not personal Annie. We both knew our marriage was a business arrangement and like all business, it's been concluded. Just sign the papers and move on to the next deal."

"I don't want to move on!" She cries as she flings the papers on the foot of the bed. "I want you."

"I wanted my son, but you had other ideas about that." Gregory wraps one arm around my back as he dials downstairs. "Rose, you can send them up now."

"You can't do this to me-" Annie's tears serve only to annoy him further. "How can you do this?"

Gregory's jaw is set, but he's enjoying this. I can see the light in his eyes. "I'm not doing anything."

A quick knock on the bedroom door announces the appearance of two uniformed police officers.

"They've been waiting for you and I'm afraid they've got big plans for you Annie." Grinning like the cheshire cat, Gregory takes my hand and wraps it up in his. "But you remember how this part goes, don't you?"

The taller man reaches for Annie's shoulders. "Annie Douglas, you're under arrest for kidnapping, assault and criminal endangerment of a minor child. You have the right to remain silent, if you waive that right anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you."


	9. judgement

Caitlin won't stop crying. She insists that Trey's her son, that she gave birth to him. Sean's refusing to comment. He doesn't want to say anything to hurt his sister but Ricardo's already been questioning him and he's on the witness list for Annie's trial. Cole told Bette Caitlin's been inconsolable since Social Services took the baby away. He has that stunned look, the numb grayness that comes from losing a child. I remember seeing that look in the mirror after Olivia miscarried.

I can't imagine being kept from the death of my own child for a year as Cole has been. When I look at him I actually feel pity for the poor boy. He's lost everything in one sweep. His wife, my precious daughter, didn't have the strength to tell him she'd lost their baby. She bought a baby and used my money to do it. Amazingly I can't bring myself to feel pity for her. It's as if the light I shone on her face has gone out in my heart.

I can't bring myself to look at her as Olivia and I take our seats across from her in the courtroom. Olivia's been quiet all morning, but she's clinging to my hand. Her clothes are back in my house and watching her get dressed this morning in my bedroom was balm to my heart. She's back and it makes the months we spent apart seem like a nightmare.

But she's pale, worn out by the mess these proceedings have become. Caitlin suing for custody of Trey was the final straw. I can still feel the way her hand clamped down desperately on my arm when the judge told us we'd have to wait for the results of the paternity test before our son would be released to us. I don't understand how she can still be so nervous. What doubts could she still have?

Perhaps it's because she can't believe her own memories. Olivia's eyes still turn to foggy whenever anyone mentions that day. She lowers her head to my shoulder as the judge begins the hearing. I slip my arm around her, whispering to her, "It'll be over in a moment Liv. He'll be coming home with us. Forever."

Olivia can't say anything. Her hand flies up to her mouth and I reach up to touch her cheek. "It'll be all right. Don't worry about it."

Judge Galway settles into his chair and arranges his glasses on his nose. "This is the conclusion on the custody hearing of one minor child, Armando James Deschanel. This case is tied to a criminal case still under prosecution the particulars of that case make this very delicate for all parties concerned." He looked over the findings of the court appointed laboratory one final time before looking up at the crowd.

He clears his throat and lowers his gaze to my ex-wife as she shifts uncomfortably on the bench next to me. "The word of one party against another is often the forefront of any legal battle, but never is it more hurtful than in a custody case. But no matter the cost, it is the only mission of this court to provide the best possible home for this boy."

"I can find no fault with the way he has been treated in his current home with Mr. and Mrs. Deschanel, nor can I find any reason he wouldn't live equally well with Mr. and the first Mrs. Richards. That makes this case come down to the laboratory results."

Olivia's fingers dig into my arm and I transfer her grip to my hand. I wish I could make her less upset, share with her the confidence I have that our son will come home.

"The facts of the criminal case pending against Annie Douglas Richards will depend greatly on the findings of our lab that I have before me." The graying Judge Galway took a sip of water and continued. "Due to the close genetic ties between Olivia Richards and her daughter Caitlin Richards Deschanel, the only way to determine the true parentage of this young boy was to compare the potential fathers Gregory Richards and Cole Deschanel. "

Olivia's whole body is trembling next to me but I know it'll all end as soon as the Judge announces that he is my son. She's just carried away by the stress of it all and she's never been able to separate her body from the pain in her mind. I concentrate on the Judge, but I touch her cheek again, reminding her I'm never leaving her side again.

"The DNA evidence was decisive. Gregory Richards is a 99.7 positive match to this little boy. It is the belief of this means Armando James Deschanel was born, stolen and falsely declared dead as Gregory Richards Jr."

I'd be out of my seat in joy, but Olivia's grip on me is too tight. I kiss her head and let her collapse into my chest. She doesn't have to listen, the Judge's final verdict will be etched in my mind forever.

"With that evidence, it is the opinion of this court that the child will be returned to his biological parents, Olivia and Gregory Richards. Since they are divorced, a second hearing will convene tomorrow to determine a shared custody between them."

The gavel comes down as Caitlin starts shouting unintelligibly. The bailiff grabs her to keep her back from Olivia and I. Bette pats my shoulder and offers her congratulations. "When she's listening again, tell her I always knew you'd get back together."

Bette leans down and to my great surprise kisses my cheek and whispers to me alone, "After you got your head out of your ass and realized you needed her." Her hand slaps lightly across my cheek and she smirks at my shock. "That's so you never forget."

She touches Olivia's hand and whispers something to her that actually earns a pause in her tears. "I'll see you both, and the little guy later at home." Bette smiles warmly, bringing that light that's so strong within her. She too seems to have accepted that our home is together once more.

The courtroom keeps clearing around us. Sean sit down next to me with a shy grin. "Is mom okay?"

I lower my head, coaxing Olivia up to meet our elder son's eyes as I kiss her tear-stained cheek. "I think she's going to be fine."

"Oh Sean-" And that's all she can manage. Our son takes over, telling her how great it's going to be to have little Gregory back home.

I stand, rubbing Olivia's shoulders as I watch Cole come towards me. His hands are in the pockets of his suit and he looks lost. More lost than I've ever seen him. I meet him part way, giving him the privacy of a solo conversation.

"Cate and I have a lot of Trey's-" He runs his hand through his hair suddenly deflated. "Gregory's- his stuff, umm- do you want me to send it over?"

For an insane moment it hits me that I've won. I've finally broken up Cole and Caitlin, but I no longer care. In fact, Cole's almost better off without her. It's ironic really, all that time I spent trying to convince Caitlin not to trust him- Cole's the more trustworthy one.

"You can bring it over whenever it's convenient for you. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you." I don't even believe I'm saying it. I've invited Cole Deschanel to my house but I couldn't be happier if I tried. My son is coming home to me.

Behind me Olivia's cry of joy can only mean social services have given her our son back. "Excuse me." I tell him as I turn away.

Turning towards me with tears streaming down her face, Olivia's never looked more radiant. Our son, my namesake, catches a curl of her hair in one chubby fist and waves the other at me. He's too young to know he's the cause of her tears, but he lights up with a smile as I hurry towards him. He's still grinning at me as I surround them both with my arms.

Sean's still here, and for the first time in his life, I let him see me cry. All that wanting, all the emptiness is gone. My heart has reasons to beat again, reasons that I crush to my chest.

* * *

An eternity later, Gregory Jr, Tommy as she's started calling him on the walk down to the records office, is sitting happily balanced on the counter as Olivia and I fill out his paper work.

"Last chance to change your mind." I tease her as I fill out a new birth certificate for our son.

Olivia beams at him and shakes her head. "He's Gregory Thomas Richards, aren't you darling?" Our son sucks his fingers but he never takes his eyes off of her. His adjustment seems to be the least painful of all.

I sign the birth certificate and pass it to Olivia with a pen. She signs it and starts to hand the pen back to me but I push her hand back. "One more thing to sign Liv."

She tilts her head at me, confused as I place the marriage license on the counter in front of her.

"Assuming you'll take me back." I reach for her hand and plant a kiss on the back of it. "It will eliminate the need for a second custody hearing."

Olivia gulps back the tears that are threatening her barely dry eyelashes. "Oh Gregory-"

I sign my name with a flourish and set my pen down. "I love you."

She sets down the pen I gave her and picks up my personal gold leafed one. Her elegant signature finds a home just above mine. "I love you too."

Bette clears her throat from the doorway, grinning as she announces her part in my little surprise. "I brought a judge and two witnesses. Moi and-"

Sean peaks shyly around the door. "Me."

Olivia hands me Gregory Jr and runs to hug our oldest son. "Oh darling, you don't know how much this means to your father and I-"

Meeting my eyes over Olivia's shoulder, Sean gives me a serious look. "I think I do. I really think I do mom."

Bette reaches for the baby and takes him as she passes the marriage license to Sean. "John Hancock on there cupcake, then you can give these two their rings back."

Sticking his hand in his pocket, Sean sheepishly opens his palm to reveal our original wedding rings. "Rose stole 'em for me."

Olivia's a wreck, but I'm only a notch away. She hugs Bette and then hugs Sean again, probably would have hugged the judge to if I didn't grab her away and pull her to the center of the room.

"I understand you've both done this before." Judge Wolsten looks over our just completed license and sets it aside. "Are you both ready to do this? No one knows better than the two of you what kind of commitment you're getting into."

"This is the right thing to do." Olivia answers for both of us as she takes my hands.

"Do you, Gregory Richards, take Olivia to be your wife, to laugh with you in joy, to grieve with you in sorrow, to grow with you in love and from this day onward share your life with her?"

Olivia mouths "I love you" and I nearly lose my composure completely.

"I do." Falls from my lips and seals my promise. I wonder if I can live up to everything we hope, but the love in her eyes promises she believes in me.

"Do you, Olivia Blake Richards, take Gregory to be your husband, to laugh with you in joy, to grieve with you in sorrow, to grow with you in love and from this day onward share your life with him?"

"I do." Olivia can be so beautiful when she's crying. "I most certainly do."

Judge Wolsten smiles and takes the rings from Sean. "As you exchange these rings, remember these are a symbol of your wedded life together, a commitment to be held sacred between you."

Sacred is something I've avoided in my life. I'm not a religious man, but if I had to find one place to have faith, it's in her. Our rings slide home, symbolizing the emptiness that's gone now.

"Before these witnesses and by the power invested in me by the state of California, I pronounce you husband and wife and wish you the best of luck in your life together." Judge Wolsten steps back to sign our marriage license and Olivia and I stare at each other.

How can one sum up a lifetime together? How does the complicated mass of experiences that define two people become something as simple as two bands of gold and two tiny sentences tossed across a little office of records?

Olivia must be able to see my mind run off without me because she starts to laugh. "You're forgetting one very important part of your surprise-"

"What?" I ask dumbstruck by her as she rising up on her tiptoes.

"This." Melting her lips into mine, Olivia answers all of my questions. The life of two people is even simpler than a marriage ceremony. It's in a kiss, a look across a crowded room that says more than the most lengthy of novels. It's our children, the way she knows what I'm thinking by the set of my shoulders, the way I can tell her mood by the way she enters a room.

"Oh-" I whisper softly as I hold her against me. "That-"

She gives me the tiniest of nods and devours my lips as she reminds me just one of the myriad reasons I love her beyond reason, beyond my doubts and beyond fear.


	10. mending

"I can't do this Gregory-" I have to set down my coffee cup because my hands are shaking too much to keep it from spilling over my lap. "If I don't remember what happened enough to tell you and you're my husband-"

He smiles gently, waxing nostalgic as he reaches for my shaking hands. "It's good to hear you say that again."

Sighing, I curl my fingers up beneath his. "It's good to say it out loud." I rest my head on his shoulder. "I have to confess I never stopped thinking it. I had to keep correcting myself, adding the ex."

Gregory lowers his head over mine. "Not anymore." This is so easy for him. He has us both back, but he has no idea how close he is to loosing us. I nearly died in that courtroom. When they told me the little boy I had worried about from the moment I knew I was carrying him was Gregory's son my heart nearly stopped. The lies and the secrecy were pointless because all that time he was the child of the man I love.

Drawing me back to the present, Gregory runs his hand up my arm. "And you can do this Liv."

I pull away, shaking my head slowly. "I can't, I don't remember what happened, as soon as that leech Annie's hired starts attacking me-"

"Cross examining-" He corrects patiently.

"I'll fall apart, she'll make me look like a drunk and a liar." Letting him calm my fears is something I've missed desperately. I wonder if he knows how much as he brushes my hair, and my concerns out of my face.

"You aren't a drunk and you certainly aren't a liar." Gregory's blind support just adds to my guilt. He still doesn't know about Cole and I, and I'll be lying about that until I die. At least I can count on Cole to do the same. He knows as well as I do that the last thing his wife needs to hear now is that we slept together.

"No one on that jury is going to expect your memory to be perfect Liv." He's always been so good at knowing what a jury wants. "By the time Annie's attorney gets to do his cross the DA will have already explained that you were dragged from your home, nine months pregnant and only hours after being taken to the hospital for false labor." Getting up from the sofa, Gregory slips fully into lawyer mode, constructing the DA's case in his mind as he talks.

"You had no business being out of your house at all, but Annie threatened to destroy your daughter's marriage with that pornographic tape of Cole and that slut Jade." His momentary peace with Cole yesterday is already forgotten. "And as soon as you arrived in that forsaken little hovel in the woods, she attacked you, tried to drug you with something she knew nothing about. A substance insidious enough to alter your memory and send you into labor."

Even watching him talk about Annie and that cabin makes my stomach tighten up in a knot of terror. My hands start to sweat as my memories threaten me again. I can feel the sick cold fear settle in my chest but I haven't moved, and he's still thinking out loud.

He's carried away with his own genius. He's dealing with his own turmoil in typical Gregory fashion, beating the rest of the world by being a lawyer. "But instead of calling nine-one-one, your doctor, or even your husband as you begged her do to, she risked your life and the life of your child so she could take that child from your arms moments after he was born-"

"Gregory stop!" My plea drags him out of his imaginary courtroom and back to my side. I can still feel the terrible emptiness of my arms as Annie rips my baby from them. "Please stop. I can't-"

His expression flashes immediately to apologetic. Gregory starts to take my hands, but decides to take my shoulders instead. "He's safe, Junior's upstairs with Sean. His big brother's reading him a story."

"I can't believe he's back." I whisper into his shoulder, wrapping my fingers up in the softness of his old green polo. "I have to keep telling myself it's not a dream."

"Not all dreams are bad," He reminds me as he finds the wedding band on my hand.

"Lately I like being awake." I kiss his hand, grateful a thousand times for his return to my life. "But darling, I'm so worried about this trial. What if I mess it up and she goes free? I don't think I could handle that, after everything that's happened."

"You can handle a lot more than you give yourself credit for." He promises with great sincerity. "You certainly handled me."

I have to leave the sofa, I can't return the look of admiration. I cross the bar, starting to pour a glass of water as he continues to apologize.

"I turned on you when you needed me the most and you survived." The softness in his voice is that same innocence respect that young law student had developed for her so many years ago. "I don't think I would have made it through that."

I set the pitcher down slowly. I have to tell him but the words aren't there. Starting to take a sip of water I stop halfway and set my glass down. "I tried to kill myself."

Nervous, bitter laughter bubbles from my lips. "Twice actually."

The summer heat's gone out of our living room. All I can hear is the faraway thud of my heartbeat. Once I start talking the words come unbidden to my lips. "I thought I killed our baby, you thought I killed our baby and I couldn't live with that. It hurt- I hurt- I just couldn't."

I can picture the sorrow in his face, the stillness that settles over him as the gravity of my words sinks in. "I tried once and Cole stopped me I don't know how he found me, or how he knew, but he wouldn't let me do it." It's like I'm talking about someone else. Surely it was someone else in the grotto with Cole and that drug-laced bottle of champagne.

"I tried to jump on the ship. Got all the way out on the railing before AJ made me come back." That was just months ago, but it was someone else. She had my voice, my body, the same pain in my heart but it couldn't have been me. "Ironic isn't it?"

Water doesn't burn the way I wish it would and I find my eyes on the cabinet below the bar. It's the last thing in the world I need, but I can't turn around and face him. I certainly can't reach for a drink. I walk to the window, putting the sofa between us as a physical representation of the silence. That terrible silence just keeps getting bigger. Growing until it fills the void between us with everything I can't say.

Would it be enough for me just to say that I don't feel that way now? I could turn around and smile at him and tell him everything is fine now. Does that take away how lost I was? Can a kiss promise him that I'll never want to take myself away again? I won't. I can't leave now, both Gregory's need me. I can't think of anything else that would come between us. There's only one skeleton left in my closet and that one is so far back it'll never see the light of day.

I hear the rustle of the leather as he stands up from the sofa. Gregory's still at a loss for words and I can't help thinking I've pushed too far. I was ready to end my life and he didn't know. He didn't let himself see the pain I was in because he was just as lost as I was. Maybe worse because he didn't have the strength to end it. He clings to his pain, pulling it close around his heart like armor. When he's buried his heart deep enough nothing will heart him anymore.

"I hate them both." Gregory admits softly, his voice shattering the void between us. "I've hated AJ for years, hell, I've tried to have Cole killed-" He runs his hand through his hair, that adorable nervous gesture of his, and shudders. "If I had succeeded I'd have lost you."

"I couldn't-" His silver tongue turns to lead in his mouth. "Liv- even when I hated you. I-"

I turn around quickly to save him from admitting what's obviously on his mind. Dropping my water glass as he catches my hand I'm sucked into the pain in his eyes. It shatters as it bounces around my feet, water splashing around the pale blue shards of my glass. It crunches beneath his feet as he grabs me and crushes me against his chest. He's on the brink of tears and the words fall from his lips and shatter just like my glass.

"I can't live in a world that doesn't have you in it." The glass continues to grind into the floor as he moves his feet. My own feet are bare and I don't want to risk slicing them on the glass. Gregory can't look at me. His admission is to the floor, realizing the danger to my feet as he admits the danger I am to his heart.

He guides my feet onto his shoes, like I'm a little girl learning to dance at a wedding. "Stay here." Gregory's nearly smiling now that we have something less serious to talk about. "Wouldn't want you to get hurt."

"You've always done your best to protect me." I promise him as I wrap my arm around the back of his neck. "You should trust that."

He takes a slow step, moving us out of the glass a little. "I don't know how to trust that. Look at what I've done with my life-"

We turn slowly, dancing our way out of the mess. I smile suddenly, filled with a rush of warmth. "I think your life is wonderful and I'm glad I'm part of it."

"Part?" He disagrees with a raised eyebrow. "The center- my soul-"

"You give me too much credit." I slip from his shoes and try to retreat from the intensity of his arms.

Gregory won't let me. "I've never given you enough." He lifts up my chin forcing me to see the tears threatening his deep brown eyes. "But you stayed with me anyway."

I kiss the hand holding my face but Gregory wants more. He draws me in close to his chest. I stop him as he leans in to kiss me, turning the physical to explain what keeps catching in his throat. "Darling, that's what love is."

He laughs softly, and I'm seduced by the mystery of it. Catching my puzzled expression he kisses my cheek and smiles. "You're going to destroy Annie."

I can feel his breath on my face as he finishes his thought. "There's no contest."


	11. indigeo habere

She's always looked amazing in black. Quiet, elegant, and professional- the antithesis of the frantic dismay demonstrated in Annie's posture at the defense table. She's up next today and as soon as Olivia takes the stand, it's over. Annie never expect Olivia to be able to testify against her and since the two of them were the only ones in that dammed cabin the only rebuttal witness is Annie herself.

Jeffrey Hunter, the veteran from Charles' firm Bette managed to get on short notice, knows too well that a jury's going to feel every moment of my wife's pain. Every tear Olivia keeps from her face is one etched in the mind of those twelve people. She could be anyone of their mothers or their wives. Annie doesn't have a chance. Maybe if she'd had any altruism in her heart at all, but her motives are simply financial.

Charles himself testified on the wording of the codicil in Del's will. Unless Annie could marry me by June 30th, Olivia would have inherited all of his stock. The defense calls Bette as a witness to the depravity of her brother, but the young assistant district attorney asks her about Olivia on the cross and the tide turns. Even Bette can't keep a dry eye when she remembers how destroyed Olivia was after we lost our baby.

The young ADA, Alison Wright, stands up calmly, cool and collected. "Please state your full name for the court."

The back of the courtroom starts to fade away behind Olivia's quiet face.

"Gregory Richards."

"What do you do in Sunset Beach, M.r Richards?" She takes a step towards the far wall, obviously unhurried.

"I'm a member in good standing of the California bar, a partner with the Massey-Greysolon firm, one-quarter shareholder of the Liberty corporation and CEO of Richards Communication Corp."

"Have you ever been married?"

"Yes, twice-" I pause to correct myself. "Three times as of last week."

That draws the tiniest of smiles from her. "Congratulation, please tell the court who you married and when."

"I married Olivia Blake on November 24th, 1975, and we divorced June 29th of this year.

"Let's talk about your first wife. You married Olivia over twenty years ago, correct?"

"Yes, our twenty-third wedding anniversary is-" I pause, correcting myself with a note of pain. "Would have been in November- the 24th."

"Twenty years is a long time to spend with someone. In fact, you have three children with your first wife, don't you?"

"Yes, Caitlin's twenty-two, Sean's eighteen and Gregory Junior-" I pause, it still isn't real to me that he's back. "Is seven months."

"How would you describe your marriage?"

I pause, smiling bittersweetly at her as I turn my gaze to Olivia. "I don't know if I have that kind of time. Certainly never boring. We went through some rocky times, but after our older son, Sean went through a difficult brain surgery we really found each other again. That was when we discovered we were pregnant with Gregory Junior and our marriage really seemed solid."

"When did you divorce Olivia?"

Olivia's still looking at me even though her eyes are growing soft. "June 29th of this year."

"Why did you decide to end your marriage of twenty-two years?"

I wince, remembering the pain as I signed those papers as if they were in front of me again. "I don't think either of us decided to end our marriage. After our son was believed to be dead-" I pause, struggling with the memory of that incredible pain. "I blamed my wife and we drifted apart. Everything in my life became a blur after my son-" I pause again, reminding myself that he's safe at home with Rose. "Supposedly died. Then one day we were signing divorce papers."

"Is that something you regret?"

"I did. I regretted it every day until very recently."

Alison smiles, the jury's going to love our happy ending and she knows it. "What happened recently?"

"Olivia agreed to marry me again." I grin foolishly but I can't help it. "We're raising our son together."

The defense has been looking forward to getting to me. I'm their hostile witness, the foolish man who bought into Annie's schemes and turned his back on the woman who actually loved him. The defense can make me look like Hannibal Lecter for all I care.

"On June 30th you married the defendant, Annie Douglas."

"Yes, I married Annie."

Jeffrey tilts his head quizzically. "Why did you marry her?"

"I wanted her money. I knew what she stood to inherit by marrying me and I knew she'd be in too much of a hurry to read any prenuptial agreement I laid down in front of her."

"Was there ever any emotional involvement between you?"

I look directly into Olivia's gaze. "Aside from a mutual admiration for her greed and tenacity, no."

"Even though you shared her bed for these last few months?"

My jaw tightens and I can feel my whole face harden. "My marriage to Annie was a business transaction, her willingness to share my bed was nothing more than a fringe benefit."

Annie jolts in her chair, but her counsel's arm keeps her where she is. "Isn't that rather cold-hearted, Mr. Richards?"

"Yes, it is." I agree sternly as I grow aware of the jury's newest thought. Why did Olivia marry me in the first place?

"Nothing further." Jeffrey sits down and I make a mental note to congratulate him on his stunning performance on a very difficult case.

"Would say you've always been cold-hearted?"

"Depends on who you ask." I tease lightly, drawing a smile from Olivia in the front row. The judge gives me a stern look and I correct myself. "No. I was rather idealistic and foolish when I was young but loosing a child rips your heart out. It isn't something I'd wish on anyone. Even Annie."

"One last question, Mr. Richards. Do you have any 'emotional involvement' with your current wife?"

Perhaps the toughest question I've been asked all morning. "I love her and for reasons that are entirely beyond me, she loves me."

"Thank you. Nothing further." Smiling slightly, Alison sorts papers on the table in front of her as I return to Olivia's side. I take her hand as I sit down next to her.

"I'm glad you don't understand why." Olivia whispers playfully. "Would take a lot of fun out of things."

"The people call Olivia Richards."

She kisses my cheek as she stands up. Something's changed since yesterday. There's a strength in her bearing she claimed she didn't have. Olivia folds her hands in her lap after she's sworn in. The bailiff adjusts the microphone for her and she looks up at the ADA with steady blue eyes.

Olivia's responses fly by. "My name is Olivia Blake Richards. I own and manage the radio station KJSR. Gregory and I were married once for twenty-two years and again now for six wonderful days. We have three children together."

"What happened when your youngest was born?"

Olivia swallows, but her voice is clear when she starts to speak. "I got a phone call that morning. The voice on the other end told me he, it sounded like a man, had a tape of my son-in-law, Cole Deschanel and another woman in a compromising situation. He wanted $5000 to keep it out of the papers. He arranged to meet me in a cabin in the woods outside of town."

"What happened when you arrived?"

"It wasn't a man at all. It was a woman. She tried to hit me with some kind of dart, she missed but we struggle and she jabbed it into my shoulder." She's gone pale but she's still steady. Annie's the one who's starting to shake.

"Is this woman here, in the courtroom?"

Olivia nods quickly, raising a hand to point to Annie. "It was the defendant, Annie Douglas."

The whispers roar through the back of the courtroom and Annie stands up, trembling with what appears to be fury until she collapses in on herself like a delating balloon. "Stop this! Just stop it. I did it. I stole the b#tch's baby, I left her to die in the cabin." She holds on her wrists, sobbing pathetically as she feels her defeat for the first time. "I confess."

The Judge pounds down her gavel. The lawyers fly up like black suited bees to re-negotiate. Five minutes later it's all over. Annie's accepted a guilty plea on all counts. Sentencing is set for tomorrow morning but the kidnapping charge alone is worth ten years, minimum.

Olivia curls her arm around mine and lets me kiss her cheek again before running into a long embrace with Bette. We've won, but it'll prove a bittersweet victory. Sean's waiting for us outside the courtroom. He went to see Caitlin this morning. She's plead guilty as well, never even bothering to go to trial. She'll spend a year in a minimum security psychiatric facility for illegal trafficking in human beings. After that she'll be on probation and mandatory counseling.

"She seems like a different person." Sean admits as he gives me a sad smile. "Keeps calling Junior Trey instead or talking about her baby. She's not making a lot of sense. Her therapist is really good though, she thinks Cate will be fine again, someday."

I touch his shoulder, unable to admit how pleased I am that he's stuck by his mother and I. Even when it took him away from his sister. "Thanks for going to see her."

"Sure no problem." He shrugs amiably. "Glad I could help you out. I know how hard it's going to be for mom to visit her."

"They just need some time." I assure him, glad he didn't ask about my feelings about his sister. "We all needed some time."

Olivia returns to my side with Bette in tow. "What do you think about lunch back at the house?" She asks brightly. Blooming in the glow of relief after the trial as she sighs happily. "I've already invited Bette so you just need to say yes."

"Of course, Bette, we'd love to have you."

She surprised yet again, pulling me into a tight hug that threatens to cut off my circulation. There are tears in her eyelashes as we pull apart. "I'm just glad you two are happy. Someone needed to get something good out of this whole mess."

* * *

Olivia and I can't stop smiling at each other as we set the table on the patio. The sun's brilliant over the ocean. Junior's squealing in delight as Bette plays with his chubby feet. Sean and Emily emerge with a pitchers of iced tea and lemonade and promise that Rose is almost done with lunch. Olivia looks at me and holds up the extra plate she took for Caitlin by accident. I follow her to the butler's pantry and we put it back together. 

"Time." I promise simply as I fill her empty hands with my own. "She just needs some time Liv."

"That was all we needed, wasn't it?" Even joyful crying pulls at my heart when it's her.

I slip my hand into her jacket, sliding between the space of the buttons of her shirt to touch the bare skin beneath. "We needed time alone."

Olivia sighs that little gasp of wanting that turns my knees to water. "Tonight. After Junior's asleep. We'll have all the time we want."

Her mouth is promise itself, warm and full of life against my own. "What about this afternoon? Bette and Junior do get along so well-"

Bursting into surprised laughter, Olivia lets me push her back against the shelves behind her. "All right, just make it through lunch. That's all I ask."

I pout as I she tries to escape from the pantry. "Longest lunch of my life."

Her hands slip around me to lay claim to my butt, rather forward of her and extremely distracting. "You'll live." She's teasing, but I realize it's the truest thing anyone's ever promised me.

"Yes, I will." Now that I have her again, living is something I'll be doing every moment. I whisper something to myself, not meaning her to hear the musing, but she demands it from me with another kiss.

"Indigeo habere." I repeat bashfully. "Marcus Aurelius' secret to a blissful life." I close my eyes, sealing her perfect smile in my memory forever. "Wanting what you have."

_-finis-_


End file.
